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The Two Gentlemen of Verona

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Enter THURIO, PROTEUS, and JULIA disguised in page’s attire
THURIO, PROTEUS, and JULIA enter. JULIA is disguised in the clothing of a male servant.

THURIO
Sir Proteus, what says Sylvia to my suit?
THURIO
Sir Proteus, what does Sylvia have to say about my declarations of love for her?


PROTEUS
O, sir, I find her milder than she was,
And yet she takes exceptions at your person.
PROTEUS
Oh, sir, she’s not as cold as she used to be, though she still objects to you.

THURIO
What, that my leg is too long?
THURIO
What, because my leg is too long?

5
PROTEUS
No, that it is too little.
PROTEUS
No, because it’s too skinny.

THURIO
I’ll wear a boot, to make it somewhat rounder.
THURIO
I’ll wear a boot with spurs, then, to make it look thicker.

JULIA
[Aside] But love will not be spurred to what it loathes.
JULIA
(aside) But love can’t be spurred to like what it hates.

THURIO
What says she to my face?
THURIO
What does she have to say about my face?

PROTEUS
She says it is a fair one.
PROTEUS
She says it is an attractive one.

10
THURIO
Nay, then, the wanton lies; my face is black.
THURIO
No, then, she’s lying—my face is ugly.


PROTEUS
But pearls are fair, and the old saying is,
Black men are pearls in beauteous ladies’ eyes.
PROTEUS
But pearls are beautiful, and the old saying is that ugly men are pearls in beautiful women’s eyes.


JULIA
[Aside] ’Tis true, such pearls as put out ladies’ eyes,
For I had rather wink than look on them.
JULIA

15
THURIO
How likes she my discourse?
THURIO
How does she like my conversation?

PROTEUS
Ill, when you talk of war.
PROTEUS
Not much, when you talk about war.

THURIO
But well when I discourse of love and peace?
THURIO
But she likes it when I talk about love and peace?

JULIA
[Aside] But better, indeed, when you hold your peace.
JULIA
(aside) But even better when you hold your peace and don’t talk at all.

THURIO
What says she to my valor?
THURIO
What does she have to say about my bravery?

20
PROTEUS
O, sir, she makes no doubt of that.
PROTEUS
Oh, sir, she doesn’t question it at all.

JULIA
[Aside] She needs not, when she knows it cowardice.
JULIA
(aside) She doesn’t need to, since she knows he’s a coward.

THURIO
What says she to my birth?
THURIO
What does she have to say about my lineage?