No Fear Shakespeare: Twelfth Night: Act 2, scene iii

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Enter SIR TOBY BELCH and SIR ANDREW

SIR TOBY BELCH and SIR ANDREW enter.

	SIR TOBY BELCH
	Approach, Sir Andrew. Not to be abed after midnight is to
	be up betimes, and diluculo surgere, thou know'st,—

SIR TOBY BELCH

Come on, Sir Andrew. If we're still awake after midnight, then we're up early in the morning. And the doctors say it's healthy to get up early—

	SIR ANDREW
	Nay, my troth, I know not. But I know to be up late is to be
	up late.

SIR ANDREW

I don't know what the doctors say. All I know is that staying up late is staying up late.

	SIR TOBY BELCH
5	A false conclusion. I hate it as an unfilled can. To be up after
	midnight and to go to bed then, is early, so that to go to bed
	after midnight is to go to bed betimes. Does not our life
	consist of the four elements?

SIR TOBY BELCH

A false conclusion. I hate your logic as much as I hate an empty drinking cup. Staying up after midnight means that you go to bed after midnight, in the wee hours of the morning, which is early. So it's like going to bed early. Isn't everybody made up of the four elements—earth, water, fire, and air?

	SIR ANDREW
	Faith, so they say, but I think it rather consists of eating and
10	drinking.

SIR ANDREW

That's what they say, but I think life consists of food and booze.

	SIR TOBY BELCH
	Thou'rt a scholar. Let us therefore eat and drink. Marian,
	I say! A stoup of wine!

SIR TOBY BELCH

You're a smart guy. So we should eat and drink. Maria! Bring us some wine!

Enter FOOL

The FOOL enters.

	SIR ANDREW
	Here comes the fool, i' faith.

SIR ANDREW

Look, here comes the fool.

	FOOL
	How now, my hearts! Did you never see the picture of “We
15	Three”?

FOOL

Hello, my friends! What a pretty picture, three fools all together.

	SIR TOBY BELCH
	Welcome, ass. Now let's have a catch.

SIR TOBY BELCH

Hello, you idiot. Sing us a song.


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