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has no more brain than a stone. Look you now, he’s out of his guard already. Unless you laugh and minister occasion to him, he is gagged. I protest I take these wise men that crow so at these set kind of fools no better than the fools' zanies.
battle of wits by an ordinary jester with no more brains than a rock. Look at him, he’s at a loss for words already. Unless he’s got somebody laughing at him, he can’t think of anything to say. I swear, anyone smart who laughs at these courts jesters is nothing but a jester’s apprentice.

OLIVIA
Oh, you are sick of self-love, Malvolio, and taste with a distempered appetite. To be generous, guiltless, and of free disposition is to take those things for bird-bolts that you deem cannon-bullets. There is no slander in an allowed fool, though he do nothing but rail. Nor no railing in a known discreet man, though he do nothing but reprove.
OLIVIA
Malvolio, your vanity is damaging your good taste. If you were generous, innocent, and good-natured, you wouldn’t get so upset by what the fool says. You’d think of his wisecracks as harmless little firecrackers, not hurtful bullets. A court jester isn’t really criticizing people, even if he does nothing but make fun of them all day long. And a wise person doesn’t make fun of people, even if all he does is criticize them.

FOOL
Now Mercury endue thee with leasing, for thou speakest well of fools!
FOOL
You speak so highly of fools! I hope the god of deception rewards you by making you a wonderful liar.
Enter MARIA
MARIA enters.

90
MARIA
Madam, there is at the gate a young gentleman much desires to speak with you.
MARIA
Madam, there’s a young gentleman at the gate who really wants to speak to you.

OLIVIA
From the Count Orsino, is it?
OLIVIA
Was he sent by Count Orsino?

MARIA
I know not, madam. 'Tis a fair young man, and well attended.
MARIA
I don’t know, madam. He’s a good-looking young man, and there are a lot of people with him.

95
OLIVIA
Who of my people hold him in delay?
OLIVIA
Who’s talking to him now?

MARIA
Sir Toby, madam, your kinsman.
MARIA
Sir Toby, madam, your relative.


OLIVIA
Fetch him off, I pray you. He speaks nothing but madman.
Fie on him!
OLIVIA
Send Toby away, please. He talks nothing but nonsense.

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Twelfth Night (No Fear Shakespeare)