No Fear Shakespeare
Twelfth Night
Get this No Fear to go!
Act 1, Scene 5, Page 4
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OLIVIA
Make your proof.
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OLIVIA
Then go ahead and prove it.
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FOOL
I must catechise you for it, madonna. Good my mouse of
virtue, answer me.
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FOOL
I’ll have to ask you some questions, madam. Please answer, my good little student.
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OLIVIA
Well, sir, for want of other idleness, I’ll bide your proof.
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OLIVIA
I’m listening to you only because I’ve got nothing better to do.
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FOOL
Good madonna, why mournest thou?
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FOOL
My dear madam, why are you in mourning?
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OLIVIA
Good fool, for my brother’s death.
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OLIVIA
My dear fool, because my brother died.
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FOOL
I think his soul is in hell, madonna.
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FOOL
I think his soul’s in hell, my lady.
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OLIVIA
I know his soul is in heaven, fool.
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OLIVIA
I know his soul’s in heaven, fool.
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FOOL
The more fool, madonna, to mourn for your brother’s soul
being in heaven. Take away the fool, gentlemen.
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FOOL
Then you’re a fool for being sad that your brother’s soul is in heaven. Take away this fool, gentlemen.
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OLIVIA
What think you of this fool, Malvolio? Doth he not mend?
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OLIVIA
What do you think of this fool, Malvolio? Isn’t he getting funnier?
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MALVOLIO
Yes, and shall do till the pangs of death shake him.
Infirmity, that decays the wise, doth ever make the better
fool.
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MALVOLIO
Yes, and he’ll keep getting funnier till he dies. Old age always makes people act funny—even wise people, but fools more than anybody.
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FOOL
God send you, sir, a speedy infirmity, for the better
increasing your folly! Sir Toby will be sworn that I am no
fox, but he will not pass his word for two pence that you are
no fool.
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FOOL
I hope you go senile soon, sir, so you can become a more foolish fool! Sir Toby would bet a fortune that I’m not smart, but he wouldn’t bet two cents that you’re not a fool.
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OLIVIA
How say you to that, Malvolio?
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OLIVIA
What do you say to that, Malvolio?
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MALVOLIO
I marvel your ladyship takes delight in such a barren rascal.
I saw him put down the other day with an ordinary fool that
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MALVOLIO
I’m surprised you enjoy the company of this stupid troublemaker. The other day I saw him defeated in a
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