Get this No Fear to go!
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FOOL
(disguising his voice) What ho, I say! Peace in this prison!
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FOOL
(disguising his voice) Quiet down in this prison!
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SIR TOBY BELCH
The knave counterfeits well. A good knave.
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SIR TOBY BELCH
The fool’s a good actor. A good fool.
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MALVOLIO
(from within) Who calls there?
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MALVOLIO
(offstage) Who’s shouting?
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FOOL
Sir Topas the curate, who comes to visit Malvolio the
lunatic.
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FOOL
I’m Sir Topas the priest. I’ve come to visit Malvolio the lunatic.
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MALVOLIO
Sir Topas, Sir Topas, good Sir Topas, go to my lady—
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MALVOLIO
Sir Topas, Sir Topas, good Sir Topas, please go find my lady Olivia—
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FOOL
Out, hyperbolical fiend! How vexest thou this man! Talkest
thou nothing but of ladies?
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FOOL
Get out, demon! Why are you bothering this poor man! Can’t you talk about anything besides ladies?
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SIR TOBY BELCH
(aside) Well said, Master Parson.
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SIR TOBY BELCH
(to himself) Well said, Mr. Priest.
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MALVOLIO
Sir Topas, never was man thus wronged. Good Sir Topas,
do not think I am mad. They have laid me here in hideous
darkness.
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MALVOLIO
Sir Topas, nobody’s ever been as badly treated as I’ve been. Good Sir Topas, don’t believe I’m insane, They’ve shut me up here in horrible darkness.
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FOOL
Fie, thou dishonest Satan! I call thee by the most modest
terms, for I am one of those gentle ones that will use the
devil himself with courtesy. Sayest thou that house is dark?
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FOOL
You should be ashamed of yourself, Satan, you liar! I’m being gentle with you, because I’m one of those good-hearted people who are polite to the devil himself. You call this house dark?
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MALVOLIO
As hell, Sir Topas.
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MALVOLIO
Dark as hell, Sir Topas.
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FOOL
Why, it hath bay windows transparent as barricadoes, and
the clerestories toward the south-north are as lustrous as
ebony. And yet complainest thou of obstruction?
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FOOL
But it has bay windows that are as transparent as stone walls, and the upper windows facing south-north are as clear as coal. But you’re still complaining of darkness and a bad view?
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MALVOLIO
I am not mad, Sir Topas. I say to you this house is dark.
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MALVOLIO
I’m not insane, Sir Topas. I’m telling you, this house is dark.
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