No Fear Shakespeare
Twelfth Night
Get this No Fear to go!
Act 1, Scene 3, Page 4
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SIR ANDREW
Marry, but you shall have, and here’s my hand.
(he offers her his hand)
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SIR ANDREW
But you will. Here’s my hand. (he offers her his hand)
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MARIA
(taking his hand) Now, sir, thought is free. I pray you, bring
your hand to the buttery-bar and let it drink.
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MARIA
(taking his hand) A girl’s got a right to her opinions. Take your hand to a bar and put a drink in it.
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SIR ANDREW
Wherefore, sweetheart? What’s your metaphor?
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SIR ANDREW
Why, sweetheart? Is there a hidden meaning in this?
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MARIA
It’s dry, sir.
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MARIA
You’re not holding a glass. Your hand is dry, sir.
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SIR ANDREW
Why, I think so. I am not such an ass, but I can keep my
hand dry. But what’s your jest?
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SIR ANDREW
Well, I hope so. I’m not such an idiot that I can’t keep my hands dry. But I don’t get it—what’s the joke?
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MARIA
A dry jest, sir.
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MARIA
Just a bit of my dry humor, sir.
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SIR ANDREW
Are you full of them?
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SIR ANDREW
Are you always so funny?
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MARIA
Ay, sir, I have them at my fingers' ends. Marry, now I let go
your hand, I am barren.
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MARIA
Yes, I’ve got a handful of jokes. But oops, when I let go of your hand, I let go of the biggest joke of all.
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Exit |
MARIA exits. |
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SIR TOBY BELCH
O knight, thou lackest a cup of canary. When did I see thee
so put down?
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SIR TOBY BELCH
Sir, you need a drink. When has anyone ever put you down like that.
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SIR ANDREW
Never in your life, I think, unless you see canary put me
down. Methinks sometimes I have no more wit than a
Christian or an ordinary man has. But I am a great eater of
beef, and I believe that does harm to my wit.
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SIR ANDREW
Never. I’ve only been that far down when I’ve drunk myself under the table. Sometimes I think I’m no smarter than average. I eat a lot of red meat, and maybe that makes me stupid.
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SIR TOBY BELCH
No question.
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SIR TOBY BELCH
Absolutely.
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