No Fear Shakespeare
Twelfth Night
Get this No Fear to go!
Act 1, Scene 3, Page 2
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MARIA
What’s that to the purpose?
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MARIA
What does his height have to do with anything?
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SIR TOBY BELCH
Why, he has three thousand ducats a year.
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SIR TOBY BELCH
Why, he has an income of three thousand ducats a year.
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MARIA
Ay, but he’ll have but a year in all these ducats. He’s a very
fool and a prodigal.
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MARIA
I bet he’ll spend his whole inheritance in a year. He’s a fool and a spendthrift.
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SIR TOBY BELCH
Fie, that you’ll say so! He plays o' the viol-de-gamboys,
and speaks three or four languages word for word without
book, and hath all the good gifts of nature.
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SIR TOBY BELCH
You shouldn’t talk about him like that! He plays the violin and speaks three or four languages word for word without a dictionary. He has all of nature’s best gifts.
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MARIA
He hath indeed, almost natural, for besides that he’s a fool,
he’s a great quarreler, and but that he hath the gift of a
coward to allay the gust he hath in quarreling, ’tis thought
among the prudent he would quickly have the gift of a grave.
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MARIA
Right—he’s a natural-born idiot. Besides being a fool, he’s argumentative. If he didn’t have the coward’s gift for backing down from a fight, they say he’d be dead by now.
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SIR TOBY BELCH
By this hand, they are scoundrels and substractors that say
so of him. Who are they?
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SIR TOBY BELCH
Anyone who says that is a lying piece of garbage. Who said that?
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MARIA
They that add, moreover, he’s drunk nightly in your
company.
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MARIA
The same people who say he gets drunk with you every night.
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SIR TOBY BELCH
With drinking healths to my niece. I’ll drink to her as long
as there is a passage in my throat and drink in Illyria. He’s
a coward and a coistrel that will not drink to my niece till his
brains turn o' th' toe like a parish top. What, wench!
Castiliano vulgo, for here comes Sir Andrew Agueface.
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SIR TOBY BELCH
We only drink toasts to my niece. I’ll drink to her as long as there’s a hole in my throat and booze in Illyria. Anyone who refuses to drink to my niece until his brain spins around like a merry-go-round is scum. But speak of the devil, here comes Sir Andrew Agueface.
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Enter SIR ANDREW
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SIR ANDREW enters. |
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SIR ANDREW
Sir Toby Belch! How now, Sir Toby Belch!
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SIR ANDREW
Sir Toby Belch! How are you, Sir Toby Belch?
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SIR TOBY BELCH
Sweet Sir Andrew!
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SIR TOBY BELCH
Sweet Sir Andrew!
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