No Fear Shakespeare
Twelfth Night
Get this No Fear to go!
Act 3, Scene 2, Page 3
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SIR TOBY BELCH
We’ll call thee at the cubiculo. Go.
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SIR TOBY BELCH
We’ll come find you in the bedroom. Go on.
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Exit SIR ANDREW
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SIR ANDREW exits. |
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FABIAN
This is a dear manikin to you, Sir Toby.
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FABIAN
This precious little guy is putty in your hands, Sir Toby.
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SIR TOBY BELCH
I have been dear to him, lad, some two thousand strong,
or so.
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SIR TOBY BELCH
He must like me, since he’s let me spend two thousand of his ducats.
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FABIAN
We shall have a rare letter from him: but you’ll not
deliver ’t?
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FABIAN
His letter’s going to be hilarious. But you’re not going to deliver it, are you?
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SIR TOBY BELCH
Never trust me, then. And by all means stir on the youth to
an answer. I think oxen and wainropes cannot hale them
together. For Andrew, if he were opened and you find so
much blood in his liver as will clog the foot of a flea, I’ll eat
the rest of the anatomy.
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SIR TOBY BELCH
Never trust me again if I don’t. And by all means see if you can get the young man to answer it. I don’t think a team of oxen could get them close enough to fight. If you dissected Andrew and found enough red blood in his liver for a flea to eat, then I’d eat the rest of his corpse. He’s a coward.
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FABIAN
And his opposite, the youth, bears in his visage no great
presage of cruelty.
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FABIAN
And his opponent, the young messenger, doesn’t look like he’d be very aggressive in a fight.
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Enter MARIA
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MARIA enters. |
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SIR TOBY BELCH
Look where the youngest wren of nine comes.
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SIR TOBY BELCH
Here comes my little bird.
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MARIA
If you desire the spleen, and will laugh yourself into
stitches, follow me. Yond gull Malvolio is turned heathen,
a very renegado. For there is no Christian that means to be
saved by believing rightly can ever believe such impossible
passages of grossness. He’s in yellow stockings.
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MARIA
Listen, if you want a good laugh—and I mean a side-splitting one—then follow me. That gullible idiot Malvolio must have renounced Christianity, since no Christian could do such outrageous things as he’s doing. He’s wearing yellow stockings.
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