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Twelfth Night
No Fear Shakespeare
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Enter SIR TOBY BELCH, SIR ANDREW, and FABIAN
SIR TOBY BELCH, SIR ANDREW, and FABIAN enter.
 SIR ANDREW
  No, faith, I'll not stay a jot longer.
SIR ANDREW
No, I won't stay a second longer.
 SIR TOBY BELCH
  Thy reason, dear venom, give thy reason.
SIR TOBY BELCH
Why are you leaving, my angry friend?
 FABIAN
  You must needs yield your reason, Sir Andrew.
FABIAN
Yes, you have to tell us why, Sir Andrew.
 SIR ANDREW
  Marry, I saw your niece do more favors to the Count's
5 servingman than ever she bestowed upon me. I saw 't i' the
  orchard.
SIR ANDREW
Well, because I saw your niece Olivia treat the count's messenger better than she's ever treated me. I saw it in the orchard.
 SIR TOBY BELCH
  Did she see thee the while, old boy? Tell me that.
SIR TOBY BELCH
Did she see you there the whole time, old boy? Tell me that.
 SIR ANDREW
  As plain as I see you now.
SIR ANDREW
Yes, she saw me quite clearly.
 FABIAN
  This was a great argument of love in her toward you.
FABIAN
Well, that proves she's in love with you.
 SIR ANDREW
10 'Slight, will you make an ass o' me?
SIR ANDREW
Are you trying to make fun of me?
 FABIAN
  I will prove it legitimate, sir, upon the oaths of judgment
  and reason.
FABIAN
No, I'll prove it with airtight evidence and logical argument.
 SIR TOBY BELCH
  And they have been grand-jurymen since before Noah was
  a sailor.
SIR TOBY BELCH
And you can't deny evidence and argument—They've been around since Noah's ark.
 FABIAN
15 She did show favor to the youth in your sight only to
  exasperate you, to awake your dormouse valor, to put fire in
  your heart and brimstone in your liver. You should then
  have accosted her, and with some excellent jests, fire-new
  from the mint, you should have banged the youth into
20 dumbness.
FABIAN
She flirted with the messenger boy to exasperate you, fire up your passions, and make you angry and jealous. You should have run up to her, unleashed a few excellent quips invented on the spot, and rendered the young man speechless.

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