No Fear Shakespeare
Twelfth Night
Get this No Fear to go!
Act 3, Scene 1, Page 3
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FOOL
Foolery, sir, does walk about the orb like the sun. It shines
everywhere. I would be sorry, sir, but the fool should be as
oft with your master as with my mistress: I think I saw your
wisdom there.
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FOOL
I’m everywhere. Foolishness is all over the world, just like sunshine. I’d be sorry if people thought your master was less familiar with foolishness than my mistress is. I think I saw you there, you wise man.
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VIOLA
Nay, an thou pass upon me, I’ll no more with thee. Hold,
there’s expenses for thee.
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VIOLA
Oh no, if you’re joking around with me, I’m leaving. Wait, here’s a coin for you.
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FOOL
Now Jove, in his next commodity of hair, send thee a beard!
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FOOL
Next time God sends out a shipment of hair, I hope he gives you a beard!
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VIOLA
By my troth, I’ll tell thee, I am almost sick for one, (aside)
though I would not have it grow on my chin. (to fool) Is thy
lady within?
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VIOLA
Oh, I know. Seriously, I’m dying for one, (to herself) I mean, I’m dying for a man who has a beard; I don’t want one to grow on my chin. (to the FOOL) Is Lady Olivia inside?
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FOOL
Would not a pair of these have bred, sir?
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FOOL
If I had two of these coins, do you think they’d breed more coins?
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VIOLA
Yes, being kept together and put to use.
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VIOLA
Yes, if you kept them together and invested them.
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FOOL
I would play Lord Pandarus of Phrygia, sir, to bring a
Cressida to this Troilus.
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FOOL
I’d like to be like that famous pimp, Lord Pandarus, and get a Cressida for my Troilus.
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VIOLA
(giving him money) I understand you, sir. 'Tis well begged.
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VIOLA
(giving the FOOL money) I get what you’re driving at, sir. You’re a very clever beggar.
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FOOL
The matter, I hope, is not great, sir, begging but a beggar.
Cressida was a beggar. My lady is within, sir. I will construe
to them whence you come. Who you are and what you
would are out of my welkin, I might say “element,” but the
word is overworn.
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FOOL
It shouldn’t be too much to ask; I’m only begging for a beggar. They say Cressida became a beggar in her old age. My lady Olivia’s inside, sir. I’ll tell them where you come from, though I don’t know who you are or what you want. I’d say I was “out of my element,” but that phrase is overused, so I’ll say I’m “out of my air.”
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Exit |
The FOOL exits. |
