No Fear Shakespeare
Twelfth Night
Get this No Fear to go!
Act 3, Scene 1, Page 2
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FOOL
Why, sir, her name’s a word, and to dally with that word
might make my sister wanton. But, indeed, words are very
rascals since bonds disgraced them.
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FOOL
Well, her name’s a word, and if you fooled around with it you might make her into a whore. But, you know, words have been rascals ever since people started using written contracts rather than their word of honor.
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VIOLA
Thy reason, man?
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VIOLA
Why do you say that?
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FOOL
Troth, sir, I can yield you none without words, and words
are grown so false, I am loath to prove reason with them.
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FOOL
Honestly, sir, I’d need to use words to explain why, and since words are so unreliable and false, I’d rather avoid using them in a serious discussion.
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VIOLA
I warrant thou art a merry fellow and carest for nothing.
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VIOLA
I bet you’re a happy fellow who doesn’t care about anything.
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FOOL
Not so, sir, I do care for something. But in my conscience,
sir, I do not care for you. If that be to care for nothing, sir,
I would it would make you invisible.
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FOOL
You’re wrong, sir, I do care about something. But I’ll admit I don’t care for you. If that means I don’t care about anything, you should disappear right now, since you’re nothing.
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VIOLA
Art not thou the Lady Olivia’s fool?
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VIOLA
Aren’t you Lady Olivia’s fool?
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FOOL
No, indeed, sir; the Lady Olivia has no folly. She will keep
no fool, sir, till she be married, and fools are as like
husbands as pilchards are to herrings; the husband’s the
bigger: I am indeed not her fool, but her corrupter of words.
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FOOL
No, sir. Lady Olivia doesn’t want to have anything to do with foolishness. So she won’t have a fool until she gets married. Fools are to husbands as anchovies are to sardines—husbands are the bigger ones. I’m not her fool. I just make words into whores for her.
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VIOLA
I saw thee late at the Count Orsino’s.
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VIOLA
I saw you at Count Orsino’s recently.
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