Why, sir, her name's a word, and to dally with that word
might make my sister wanton. But, indeed, words are very
rascals since bonds disgraced them.
FOOL
Well, her name's a word, and if you fooled around with it you might make her into a whore. But, you know, words have been rascals ever since people started using written contracts rather than their word of honor.
VIOLA
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Thy reason, man?
VIOLA
Why do you say that?
FOOL
Troth, sir, I can yield you none without words, and words
are grown so false, I am loath to prove reason with them.
FOOL
Honestly, sir, I'd need to use words to explain why, and since words are so unreliable and false, I'd rather avoid using them in a serious discussion.
VIOLA
I warrant thou art a merry fellow and carest for nothing.
VIOLA
I bet you're a happy fellow who doesn't care about anything.
FOOL
Not so, sir, I do care for something. But in my conscience,
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sir, I do not care for you. If that be to care for nothing, sir,
I would it would make you invisible.
FOOL
You're wrong, sir, I do care about something. But I'll admit I don't care for you. If that means I don't care about anything, you should disappear right now, since you're nothing.
VIOLA
Art not thou the Lady Olivia's fool?
VIOLA
Aren't you Lady Olivia's fool?
FOOL
No, indeed, sir; the Lady Olivia has no folly. She will keep
no fool, sir, till she be married, and fools are as like
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husbands as pilchards are to herrings; the husband's the
bigger: I am indeed not her fool, but her corrupter of words.
FOOL
No, sir. Lady Olivia doesn't want to have anything to do with foolishness. So she won't have a fool until she gets married. Fools are to husbands as anchovies are to sardines—husbands are the bigger ones. I'm not her fool. I just make words into whores for her.
