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No Fear Shakespheare

Twelfth Night

William Shakespeare

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Act 3, Scene 1

Original Text

Modern Text
Enter VIOLA, and the FOOL playing with a tabor
VIOLA and the FOOL, playing a drum, enter.


VIOLA
Save thee, friend, and thy music. Dost thou live by thy
tabour?
 VIOLA
God bless you, my friend, and your music too. Do you make your living by playing that drum?

FOOL
No, sir, I live by the church.
 FOOL
No, sir, I live by the church.

VIOLA
Art thou a churchman?
 VIOLA
Oh, you’re a clergyman?

5
 FOOL
No such matter, sir. I do live by the church; for I do live at
my house, and my house doth stand by the church.
 FOOL
No, I live by the church because I live in a house, and my house is by the church.



VIOLA
So thou mayst say the king lies by a beggar if a beggar dwell
near him, or the church stands by thy tabor, if thy tabor
stand by the church.
 VIOLA
You could just as easily say that a king sleeps near a beggar if the beggar lives near him, or that the church is supported by your drum because it “stands by” your drum.

10

 FOOL
You have said, sir. To see this age! A sentence is but a
cheveril glove to a good wit. How quickly the wrong side
may be turned outward!
 FOOL
You’re right, sir. What a wonderful time to be alive! Sentences can be turned inside out so easily nowadays!


VIOLA
Nay, that’s certain. They that dally nicely with words may
quickly make them wanton.
 VIOLA
That’s true. People who fool around with words too much can make words act like whores—changing all the time, and immoral too.

15		 FOOL
I would therefore my sister had no name, sir.
 FOOL
That’s why I wish my sister didn’t have a name, sir.

VIOLA
Why, man?
 VIOLA
Why, man?
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