No Fear Shakespeare

Twelfth Night

William Shakespeare

Get this No Fear to go!

	Original Text	Modern Text
	Jove, I thank thee! I will smile. I will do everything that thou wilt have me.	Dear God, thank you! I’ll do everything she wants me to do.
	Exit	MALVOLIO exits.
165	FABIAN I will not give my part of this sport for a pension of thousands to be paid from the Sophy.	FABIAN I wouldn’t have missed this even for a pension of thousands of pounds, to be paid by the shah of Persia.
	SIR TOBY BELCH I could marry this wench for this device.	SIR TOBY BELCH I could marry that Maria for thinking this up.
	SIR ANDREW So could I too.	SIR ANDREW So could I.
	SIR TOBY BELCH And ask no other dowry with her but such another jest.	SIR TOBY BELCH And I wouldn’t ask for any dowry except for her to play another trick like this one.
170	SIR ANDREW Nor I neither.	SIR ANDREW Neither would I.
	Enter MARIA	MARIA enters.
	FABIAN Here comes my noble gull-catcher.	FABIAN Here she comes, the brilliant fool-catcher.
	SIR TOBY BELCH Wilt thou set thy foot o' my neck?	SIR TOBY BELCH May I kiss your feet?
	SIR ANDREW Or o' mine either?	SIR ANDREW And I too?
	SIR TOBY BELCH Shall I play my freedom at tray-trip, and become thy bondslave?	SIR TOBY BELCH Shall I be your slave?
	SIR ANDREW I' faith, or I either?	SIR ANDREW Me too.
	SIR TOBY BELCH Why, thou hast put him in such a dream that when the image of it leaves him he must run mad.	SIR TOBY BELCH You’ve made him so delusional he’ll go crazy when he learns the truth.