No Fear Shakespeare
The Taming of the Shrew
Get this No Fear to go!
Act 4, Scene 1, Page 4
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CURTIS
Why, a horse.
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CURTIS
Well, the difference of a horse!
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GRUMIO
Tell thou the tale! But hadst thou not crossed me, thou shouldst
have heard how her horse fell, and she under her horse. Thou
shouldst have heard in how miry a place, how she was bemoiled, how
he left her with the horse upon her, how he beat me because her
horse stumbled, how she waded through the dirt to pluck him off me,
how he swore, how she prayed that never prayed before, how I cried,
how the horses ran away, how her bridle was burst, how I lost my
crupper, with many things of worthy memory which now shall die in
oblivion, and thou return unexperienced to thy grave.
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GRUMIO
Oh, tell it yourself if you’re so smart. It’s
too bad. If you hadn’t made me angry, you would have heard
all about how her horse fell with her under it, how swampy the place
was, too, and how she was covered in mud, and how he left her like
that, with the horse on top of her, and how he beat
me because
her horse stumbled, and how she waded
through the dirt to pull him off me, and how he swore, how she
prayed—this woman who never prayed
before—and how I yelled, and how the horses ran away,
and how her bridle broke, and how I lost my riding crop, and many
other things worth telling, which now will all be lost to memory,
and you’ll go to your grave ignorant.
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CURTIS
By this reck'ning he is more shrew than she.
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CURTIS
By the sound of it, he’s a bigger shrew than she
is.
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GRUMIO
Ay, and that thou and the proudest of you all shall find when he
comes home. But what talk I of this? Call forth Nathaniel, Joseph,
Nicholas, Philip, Walter, Sugarsop, and the rest. Let their heads be
slickly combed, their blue coats brushed, and their garters of an
indifferent knit. Let them curtsy with their left legs, and not
presume to touch a hair of my master’s horse-tail till they
kiss their hands. Are they all ready?
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GRUMIO
Yes—as you and the rest will find out as soon as
he’s home. But why am I telling you this? Get them in
here—Nathaniel, Joseph, Nicholas, Philip, Walter,
Sugarsop, and the rest. Tell them to slick down their hair, brush
their blue coats, and make sure their socks match. Have them click
their heels together and don’t dare touch a hair of the
master’s horse’s tail till they kiss their hands.
Are they all ready?
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CURTIS
They are.
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CURTIS
They are.
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GRUMIO
Call them forth.
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GRUMIO
Get them in here.
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CURTIS
(calling offstage) Do you hear, ho?
you must meet my master to countenance my mistress.
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CURTIS
(calling offstage) Hey! Does anyone
hear me? Hey! You have to come and greet the master and face the new
mistress.
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