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Enter GRUMIO
GRUMIO enters.

GRUMIO
Fie, fie on all tired jades, on all mad masters, and all foul ways! Was ever man so beaten? Was ever man so 'rayed? Was ever man so weary? I am sent before to make a fire, and they are coming after to warm them. Now, were not I a little pot and soon hot, my very lips might freeze to my teeth, my tongue to the roof of my mouth, my heart in my belly, ere I should come by a fire to thaw me. But I with blowing the fire shall warm myself. For, considering the weather, a taller man than I will take cold.—Holla, ho! Curtis!
GRUMIO
To hell with all worn-out horses, all crazy masters, and all bad roads. Was a man ever beaten as much as me? Was a man ever as dirty as me? Was a man ever so tired? I have been sent on ahead to light a fire, and they are coming after to warm themselves. It’s a good thing I’m like a little pot and warm up quickly, or else my lips themselves would freeze and stick to my teeth, my tongue to the roof of my mouth, and my heart would freeze in my belly, before I managed to get thawed out. I’ll warm myself by blowing on the fire. A taller man than I would catch cold in weather like this. Hey! Curtis! Hello!
Enter CURTIS
CURTIS enters.

CURTIS
Who is that calls so coldly?
CURTIS
Who calls so coldly?

GRUMIO
A piece of ice. If thou doubt it, thou mayst slide from my shoulder to my heel with no greater a run but my head and my neck. A fire, good Curtis.
GRUMIO
A piece of ice. Trust me, you could slide all the way from my shoulder to my heel taking no more of a running start than the distance between my head and my neck. Start the fire, good Curtis.

CURTIS
Is my master and his wife coming, Grumio?
CURTIS
Are my master and his wife coming, Grumio?

5
GRUMIO
Oh, ay, Curtis, ay, and therefore fire, fire. Cast on no water.
GRUMIO
Yes, yes, Curtis, so hurry up and start the fire. Leave out the water.

CURTIS
Is she so hot a shrew as she’s reported?
CURTIS
Is she as fiery a shrew as they say?

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The Taming of the Shrew (No Fear Shakespeare)