No Fear Shakespeare
The Taming of the Shrew
Get this No Fear to go!
Act 3, Scene 2, Page 3
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BIONDELLO
Why, Petruchio is coming in a new hat and an old jerkin, a pair of
old breeches thrice turned, a pair of boots that have been candle
cases, one buckled, another laced; an old rusty sword ta'en
out of the town armory, with a broken hilt and chapeless; with two
broken points; his horse hipped, with an old mothy saddle and
stirrups of no kindred, besides possessed with the glanders and like
to mose in the chine, troubled with the lampass, infected with the
fashions, full of wingdalls, sped with spavins, rayed with yellows,
past cure of the fives, stark spoiled with the staggers, begnawn
with the bots, swayed in the back and shoulder-shotten, near-legged
before and with a half-checked bit and a headstall of sheeps
leather, which, being restrained to keep him from stumbling, hath
been often burst, and now repaired with knots, one girth six times
pieced, and a woman’s crupper of velour, which hath two
letters for her name fairly set down in studs, and here and there
pieced with packthread.
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BIONDELLO
Well, Petruchio is coming in a new hat and an old vest, a pair of
old pants turned inside out, unmatched boots that have been used as
spittoons, one buckled, the other laced; a rusty old sword from the
town armory with a broken hilt and no scabbard. He’s got on
worn-out garters and is riding a swayback old horse with a
moth-eaten saddle, stirrups from two different sets, a bad hip,
swollen glands, lockjaw, leg ulcers, bedsores, arthritis, jaundice,
a hernia, hives, worms, cancer, a mossy overbite, and post-nasal
drip. He’s knock-kneed too. His bit’s lopsided and
his cardboard bridle, which breaks when you pull on it, is taped in
a few places. The saddle strap is made out of patchwork, and the
strap that goes under his tail to keep the saddle in place is
velvet, with the initials of some woman written in studs.
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BAPTISTA
Who comes with him?
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BAPTISTA
Who comes with him?
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BIONDELLO
O, sir, his lackey, for all the world caparisoned like the horse;
with a linen stock on one leg and a kersey boot-hose on the other,
gartered with a red and blue list; an old hat and the humor of forty
fancies pricked in ’t for a feather. A monster, a very
monster in apparel, and not like a Christian footboy or a
gentleman’s lackey.
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BIONDELLO
Just his servant, sir—pretty much got up like the
horse, with a linen stocking on one leg and a big woolen booty on
the other, a pair of red and blue garters, and an old hat with
something no one’s ever seen before where the feather
should be. He’s dressed like a freak, a total freak, and
not at all like a proper footman or a gentleman’s
valet.
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TRANIO
(as
LUCENTIO)
'Tis some odd humor pricks him to this fashion,
Yet oftentimes he goes but mean-appareled.
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TRANIO
(as
LUCENTIO) He must be in a strange
mood to go in for this fashion—though from time to time
he has been known to dress
down.
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BAPTISTA
I am glad he’s come, howsoe'er he comes.
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BAPTISTA
I am glad he’s coming, however he’s
dressed.
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