I believe your Honor is thinking of a character called
Soto.
LORD
85
'Tis very true. Thou didst it excellent.
Well, you are come to me in happy time,
The rather for I have some sport in hand
Wherein your cunning can assist me much.
There is a lord will hear you play tonight;
90
But I am doubtful of your modesties,
Lest over-eyeing of his odd behavior—
For yet his Honor never heard a play—
You break into some merry passion
And so offend him. For I tell you, sirs,
95
If you should smile, he grows impatient.
LORD
Yes, that was it. You gave an excellent performance. Well, this is
very fortunate, your arriving just at this moment. I happen to be
planning a little entertainment and could really use your services.
There is a particular lord who will watch you perform tonight.
I'm a little worried, though—because his Honor
has never seen a play before—that his odd behavior may
strike you as funny. You might not be able to control your laughter
and you might offend him. I warn you, he's sensitive. The
slightest smile provokes him.
A PLAYER
Fear not, my lord, we can contain ourselves
Were he the veriest antic in the world.
A PLAYER
Don't worry. We'll restrain
ourselves—no matter how bizarrely he behaves.
LORD
Go, sirrah, take them to the buttery
And give them friendly welcome every one.
100
Let them want nothing that my house affords.
LORD
Go, lad, and take them to the pantry. Make them feel welcome and
see to it that they have everything they require.
Exit one with the PLAYERS
A servant exits with the
PLAYERS.
Sirrah, go you to Barthol'mew, my page,
And see him dressed in all suits like a lady.
That done, conduct him to the drunkard's chamber
And call him “madam,” do him obeisance.
105
Tell him from me, as he will win my love,
He bear himself with honorable action,
Such as he hath observed in noble ladies
Unto their lords, by them accomplishèd.
You, fellow, go fetch my page, Bartholomew, and dress him up like
a noble lady. When you've finished, bring him to the
drunkard's room, address him as
“madam,” bow to him and treat him with
all-round respect and deference, as though he were the lady of the
house. Give him this message: if he wants to please me, he will
conduct himself like a member of the aristocracy, mimicking the kind
of behavior he's seen noble ladies use toward their
husbands.
