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Romeo and Juliet

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BENVOLIO
An if he hear thee, thou wilt anger him.
BENVOLIO
If he hears you, you’ll make him angry.



25



MERCUTIO
This cannot anger him. 'Twould anger him
To raise a spirit in his mistress' circle
Of some strange nature, letting it there stand
Till she had laid it and conjured it down.
That were some spite. My invocation
Is fair and honest. In his mistress' name
I conjure only but to raise up him.
MERCUTIO
What I’m saying can’t anger him. He would be angry if I summoned a strange spirit for her to have sex with—that’s what would make him angry. The things I’m saying are fair and honest. All I’m doing is saying the name of the woman he loves to lure him out of the darkness.

30

BENVOLIO
Come, he hath hid himself among these trees,
To be consorted with the humorous night.
Blind is his love and best befits the dark.
BENVOLIO
Come on. He’s hidden behind these trees to keep the night company. His love is blind, so it belongs in the dark.



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40
MERCUTIO
If love be blind, love cannot hit the mark.
Now will he sit under a medlar tree
And wish his mistress were that kind of fruit
As maids call medlars when they laugh alone.—
O Romeo, that she were! Oh, that she were
An open arse, and thou a poperin pear.
Romeo, good night. I’ll to my truckle bed.
This field-bed is too cold for me to sleep.—
Come, shall we go?
MERCUTIO
If love is blind, it can’t hit the target. Now he’ll sit under a

medlar

The medlar is a tree whose fruit was considered to look like a vulva or an anus. The fruits were often called “open-arses.” Popperins are Belgian pears; Mercutio uses the name in an obscene double entrendre.

medlar
tree and wish his mistress were one of those fruits that look like female genitalia. Oh Romeo, I wish she were an open-arse, and you a Popperin pear to “pop her in.” Good night, Romeo. I’ll go to my little trundle bed. This open field is too cold a place for me to sleep. (to BENVOLIO) Come on, should we go?


BENVOLIO
   Go, then, for ’tis in vain
To seek him here that means not to be found.
BENVOLIO
Let’s go. There’s no point in looking for him if he doesn’t want to be found.
Exeunt
BENVOLIO and MERCUTIO exit.

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