No Fear Shakespeare
Romeo and Juliet
Get this No Fear to go!
Act 2, Scene 5, Page 2
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NURSE
I am aweary. Give me leave awhile.
Fie, how my bones ache! What a jaunt have I!
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NURSE
I am tired. Leave me alone for a minute. Oh my, my bones ache so
much. I’ve been running all over the place.
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JULIET
I would thou hadst my bones and I thy news.
Nay, come, I pray thee, speak. Good, good Nurse, speak.
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JULIET
I wish you had my bones, and I had your news. Come on now, I beg
you, speak, good Nurse, speak.
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NURSE
Jesu, what haste! Can you not stay awhile?
Do you not see that I am out of breath?
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NURSE
Sweet Jesus, you’re in such a hurry! Can’t you
wait for a moment? Don’t you see that I’m out of
breath?
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JULIET
How art thou out of breath when thou hast breath
To say to me that thou art out of breath?
The excuse that thou dost make in this delay
Is longer than the tale thou dost excuse.
Is thy news good, or bad? Answer to that.
Say either, and I’ll stay the circumstance.
Let me be satisfied. Is ’t good or bad?
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JULIET
How can you be out of breath when you have enough breath to tell
me that you’re out of breath? The excuse you make to delay
the news is longer than the news itself. Is the news good or bad?
Answer that question. Tell me if it’s good or bad, and
I’ll wait for the details. Tell me so I can be satisfied.
Is it good or bad?
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NURSE
Well, you have made a simple choice. You know not how to choose a
man. Romeo! No, not he, though his face be better than any
man’s, yet his leg excels all men’s, and for a
hand and a foot and a body, though they be not to be talked on, yet
they are past compare. He is not the flower of courtesy, but,
I’ll warrant him, as gentle as a lamb. Go thy ways, wench.
Serve God. What, have you dined at home?
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NURSE
Well, you have made a foolish choice. You don’t know how
to pick a man. Romeo? No, not him, though his face is more handsome
than any man’s, and his legs are prettier, and as for his
hands and feet and body, they’re not much to speak of, and
yet they’re beyond compare. He’s not the most
polite man in the world, but, believe me, he’s gentle as a
lamb. Well, do what you want. Be good. Have you had lunch
yet?
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JULIET
No, no. But all this did I know before.
What says he of our marriage? What of that?
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JULIET
No, I haven’t had lunch. Everything you told me I already
knew. What does he say about our marriage? What about that?
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NURSE
Lord, how my head aches! What a head have I!
It beats as it would fall in twenty pieces.
My back a' t' other side. Ah, my back, my back!
Beshrew your heart for sending me about,
To catch my death with jaunting up and down!
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NURSE
Lord, what a headache I’ve got! My head is pounding. It
feels like it’ll break into twenty pieces. My back aches
too—(JULIET
rubs her back) Ooh, on the other
side—ah, my poor aching back! Curse your heart for
sending me running all over town. I could get sick and die.
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