I pray you, sir, what saucy merchant was this that was so full of
his ropery?
NURSE
Please tell me, sir, who was that foulmouthed punk who was so full
of crude jokes?
ROMEO
75
A gentleman, Nurse, that loves to hear himself talk, and will
speak more in a minute than he will stand to in a month.
ROMEO
Nurse, he's a man who likes to hear the sound of his own
voice. He says more in one minute than he does in a whole
month.
NURSE
An he speak any thing against me, I'll take him down, an
he were lustier than he is, and twenty such Jacks. And if I cannot,
I'll find those that shall. Scurvy knave! I am none of his
flirt-gills. I am none of his skains-mates.
(to
PETER) And thou must stand by, too,
and suffer every knave to use me at his pleasure?
NURSE
If he says anything against me, I'll humble him, even if
he were stronger than he is—and twenty punks like him.
If I can't do it myself, I'll find someone who
can. That dirty rat! I'm not one of his sluts. I'm
not one of his punk friends who carries a knife.
(to
PETER) And you just stand there
letting every jerk make fun of me for kicks.
PETER
I saw no man use you at his pleasure. If I had, my weapon should
quickly have been out, I warrant you. I dare draw as soon as another
man if I see occasion in a good quarrel and the law on my
side.
PETER
I didn't see anybody use you for kicks. If I had seen
something like that, I would have quickly pulled out my weapon.
Believe me, I'll draw my sword as quick as any other man if
I see a fight starting and the law is on my side.
NURSE
Now, afore God, I am so vexed that every part about me quivers.
Scurvy knave!
(to
ROMEO) Pray you, sir, a word. And as
I told you, my young lady bid me inquire you out. What she bade me
say, I will keep to myself. But first let me tell ye, if ye should
lead her into a fool's paradise, as they say, it were a
very gross kind of behavior, as they say. For the gentlewoman is
young, and therefore, if you should deal double with her, truly it
were an ill thing to be offered to any gentlewoman, and very weak
dealing.
NURSE
Now, I swear, I'm so angry that I'm shaking all
over. That rotten scoundrel! (to
ROMEO) Now, please, may I have a word
with you, sir? My young mistress asked me to find you. What she
asked me to say I'll keep to myself. But let me tell you
this first. If you lead her into a fool's paradise, as the
saying goes, it would be an outrageous crime because the girl is so
young. And if you try to trick her, it would be an evil thing to do
to any woman and very poor behavior.
