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Romeo and Juliet

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ROMEO
I stretch it out for that word “broad,” which, added to the goose, proves thee far and wide a broad goose.
ROMEO
I stretch my joke for that word “fat.” If you add that word to the word “goose,” it shows that you are a fat goose.

MERCUTIO
Why, is not this better now than groaning for love? Now art thou sociable. Now art thou Romeo. Now art thou what thou art—by art as well as by nature, for this driveling love is like a great natural that runs lolling up and down to hide his bauble in a hole.
MERCUTIO
Why, isn’t all this joking better than groaning about love? Now you’re sociable. Now you’re Romeo. Now you are what you’ve learned to be and what you are naturally. This love of yours was like a blithering idiot who runs up and down looking for a hole to hide his

toy

Toy = a double entendre for penis

toy
in.

BENVOLIO
Stop there, stop there.
BENVOLIO
Stop there, stop there.

MERCUTIO
Thou desirest me to stop in my tale against the hair.
MERCUTIO
You want me to stop my

tale

Tale = a double entendre for penis

tale
before I’m done.

45
BENVOLIO
Thou wouldst else have made thy tale large.
BENVOLIO
Otherwise your tale would have gotten too long.

MERCUTIO
Oh, thou art deceived. I would have made it short, for I was come to the whole depth of my tale, and meant, indeed, to occupy the argument no longer.
MERCUTIO
Oh, you’re wrong. I would have made it short. I had come to the deepest part of my tale, and I planned to say nothing more on the topic.
Enter NURSE and her man PETER
The NURSE enters with her servant, PETER.

ROMEO
Here’s goodly gear.
ROMEO
Here’s something good.

BENVOLIO
A sail, a sail!
BENVOLIO

MERCUTIO
Two, two—a shirt and a smock.
MERCUTIO
There’s two—a man and a woman.

50
NURSE
Peter!
NURSE
Peter!

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