No Fear Shakespeare
Romeo and Juliet
Get this No Fear to go!
Act 2, Scene 4
Original Text | Modern Text | |
Enter BENVOLIO and
MERCUTIO
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BENVOLIO and
MERCUTIO enter. | |
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MERCUTIO
Where the devil should this Romeo be?
Came he not home tonight?
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MERCUTIO
Where the devil can Romeo be? Didn’t he come home last
night?
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BENVOLIO
Not to his father’s. I spoke with his man.
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BENVOLIO
Not to his father’s house. I asked a servant.
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MERCUTIO
Why, that same pale hard-hearted wench, that Rosaline,
Torments him so, that he will sure run mad.
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MERCUTIO
That fair-skinned, hard-hearted hussy, Rosaline is going to
torment him until he goes insane.
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BENVOLIO
Tybalt, the kinsman to old Capulet,
Hath sent a letter to his father’s house.
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BENVOLIO
Tybalt, old Capulet’s nephew, has sent a letter to
Romeo’s father’s house.
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MERCUTIO
A challenge, on my life.
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MERCUTIO
I bet it’s a challenge.
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BENVOLIO
Romeo will answer it.
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BENVOLIO
Romeo will answer the challenge.
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MERCUTIO
Any man that can write may answer a letter.
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MERCUTIO
Any man who knows how to write can answer a letter.
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BENVOLIO
Nay, he will answer the letter’s master, how he dares,
being dared.
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BENVOLIO
No, Romeo will respond to the letter’s writer, telling
him whether he accepts the challenge.
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MERCUTIO
Alas, poor Romeo! He is already dead, stabbed with a white
wench’s black eye, shot through the ear with a love song,
the very pin of his heart cleft with the blind bow-boy’s
butt shaft. And is he a man to encounter Tybalt?
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MERCUTIO
Oh, poor Romeo! He’s already dead. He’s been
stabbed by a white girl’s black eye. He’s been cut
through the ear with a love song. The center of his heart has been
split by blind Cupid’s arrow. Is he man enough at this
point to face off with Tybalt?
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BENVOLIO
Why, what is Tybalt?
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BENVOLIO
Why, what’s Tybalt’s story?
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MERCUTIO
More than Prince of Cats. Oh, he’s the courageous captain
of compliments. He fights as you sing prick-song, keeps time,
distance, and proportion. He rests his minim rests—one,
two, and the third in your bosom. The very butcher of a silk button,
a duelist, a duelist, a gentleman of the very first house of the
first and second cause. Ah, the immortal
passado, the
punto
reverso,
the hai!
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MERCUTIO
He’s tougher than the Prince of Cats. He does everything by the book. He fights like you sing at
a recital, paying attention to time, distance, and proportion. He
takes the proper breaks: one, two, and the third in your heart.
He’s the butcher who can hit any silk button. A master of
duels. He’s a gentleman from the finest school of fencing.
He knows how to turn any argument into a swordfight. He knows
passado—the forward
thrust—the
punto reverso—the
backhand thrust—and the
hai—the thrust that goes
straight through.
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