No Fear Shakespeare

Much Ado About Nothing

William Shakespeare

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Act 2, Scene 3, Page 2

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25




30

I will not be sworn but love may transform me to an oyster,
but I’ll take my oath on it, till he have made an oyster of me,
he shall never make me such a fool. One woman is fair, yet
I am well; another is wise, yet I am well; another virtuous,
yet I am well; but till all graces be in one woman, one
woman shall not come in my grace. Rich she shall be, that’s
certain; wise, or I’ll none; virtuous, or I’ll never cheapen
her; fair, or I’ll ever look on her; mild, or come not near
me; noble, or not I for an angel; of good discourse, an
excellent musician, and her hair shall be of what color it
please God. Ha! The Prince and Monsieur Love! I will hide
me in the arbor.
I can’t promise that love won’t transform me, but I can promise you this: until I truly fall in love, a woman will never make me act like such a fool. A beautiful woman comes along, but I’m unmoved. A wise woman turns up, but I’m unmoved. A virtuous woman appears, but I’m unmoved. I refuse to fall in love until all three qualities unite in a single woman. She must be rich, certainly, and smart, or I’ll have nothing to do with her. She has to be virtuous, or I’ll never bid on her; beautiful, or I won’t bother to look at her. Mild-mannered, or else she should stay away from me. Noble, or I won’t have her even if she’s an angel. She must be well spoken, an excellent musician, and her hair should be—well, I suppose the color doesn’t matter. Ha! Look, it’s the Prince and Mr. Love. I’ll hide in the arbor.
He hides
He hides.
Enter DON PEDRO,CLAUDIO, and LEONATO, andBALTHASAR with music
DON PEDRO, CLAUDIO, and LEONATO enter. BALTHASAR enters with music.

DON PEDRO
Come, shall we hear this music?
DON PEDRO
Well, should we hear some music?


35
CLAUDIO
Yea, my good lord. How still the evening is,
As hushed on purpose to grace harmony!
CLAUDIO
Yes, my lord. Listen to how quiet the evening is, as if it’s purposefully setting the stage for a song.


DON PEDRO
(aside to CLAUDIO)
See you where Benedick hath hid himself?
DON PEDRO
(speaking so that only CLAUDIOcan hear) Do you see where Benedick is hiding?



40
CLAUDIO
(aside to DON PEDRO)
O, very well, my lord. The music ended,
We’ll fit the kid-fox with a pennyworth.
CLAUDIO
(speaking so that only DON PEDROcan hear) Yes, very well, my lord. Once the music has ended, we’ll give him more than he bargained for.

DON PEDRO
Come, Balthasar, we’ll hear that song again.
DON PEDRO
Come on, Balthasar, let’s hear that song again.

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