Faith, niece, you tax Signor Benedick too much, but
he'll be
meet with you, I doubt it not.
LEONATO
For God's sake, Beatrice, you're criticizing
Signior Benedick too heavily. But I'm sure
he'll get even with you.
MESSENGER
40
He hath done good service, lady, in these wars.
MESSENGER
Signior Benedick served well in the war, my lady.
BEATRICE
You had musty victual, and he hath holp to eat it. He is a
very valiant trencherman. He hath an excellent stomach.
BEATRICE
You had rotten food, and he helped you eat it. He's a
very brave eater—he has a strong stomach.
MESSENGER
And a good soldier too, lady.
MESSENGER
He's a good soldier too, lady.
BEATRICE
And a good soldier to a lady, but what is he to a lord?
BEATRICE
He's a good soldier to a lady? Well then, what is he to
a lord?
MESSENGER
45
A lord to a lord, a man to a man, stuffed with all honorable
virtues.
MESSENGER
He's a lord to a lord and a man to a man. He is
positively stuffed with honorable virtues.
BEATRICE
It is so indeed. He is no less than a stuffed man. But for the
stuffing—well, we are all mortal.
BEATRICE
Absolutely—he is stuffed, like a dummy. As for what
he's stuffed with—well, nobody's
perfect.
LEONATO
You must not, sir, mistake my niece. There is a kind of
50
merry war betwixt Signor Benedick and her. They never
meet but there's a skirmish of wit between them.
LEONATO
Please don't take my niece the wrong way, sir. Benedick
and Beatrice have been waging a war of wits between themselves.
Whenever they meet, there's a little battle.
BEATRICE
Alas, he gets nothing by that. In our last conflict four of his
five wits went halting off, and now is the whole man
governed with one, so that if he have wit enough to keep
55
himself warm, let him bear it for a difference between
himself and his horse, for it is all the wealth that he hath left
to be known a reasonable creature. Who is his companion
now? He hath every month a new sworn brother.
BEATRICE
And I always win. The last time we fought, he was so dazed by the
end that he wasn't much smarter than his horse. So tell
me, who is he hanging around with these days? Every month he has a
new best friend.
