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Much Ado About Nothing

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Enter DON JOHN andCONRAD
DON JOHN and CONRAD enter.


CONRAD
What the goodyear, my lord, why are you thus out of
measure sad?
CONRAD
Really, my lord, why are you so excessively sad?


DON JOHN
There is no measure in the occasion that breeds. Therefore
the sadness is without limit.
DON JOHN
The things that cause my sadness are without limit. Therefore my sadness is without limit.

5
CONRAD
You should hear reason.
CONRAD
You should listen to reason. Then you’d stop being so gloomy.

DON JOHN
And when I have heard it, what blessing brings it?
DON JOHN
And after I have sat and listened to reason, what’s my prize?

CONRAD
If not a present remedy, at least a patient sufferance.
CONRAD
If not an end to your suffering, then at least you’ll have the means to endure it patiently.



10



DON JOHN
I wonder that thou, being, as thou sayst thou art, born
under Saturn, goest about to apply a moral medicine to a
mortifying mischief. I cannot hide what I am. I must be sad
when I have cause and smile at no man’s jests, eat when I
have stomach and wait for no man’s leisure, sleep when I am
drowsy and tend on no man’s business, laugh when I am
merry and claw no man in his humor.
DON JOHN
I’m amazed that you—being such a moody man yourself—are moralizing about my deadly condition. I can’t hide what I am. I’ll be sad when I have reason to be sad and won’t smile at anybody’s jokes. I’ll eat when I’m hungry and won’t wait until it’s convenient. I’ll sleep when I’m tired and won’t rouse myself for anything. I’ll laugh when I’m happy and won’t flatter and fawn over anyone.

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20
CONRAD
Yea, but you must not make the full show of this till you
may do it without controlment. You have of late stood out
against your brother, and he hath ta'en you newly into his
grace, where it is impossible you should take true root but
by the fair weather that you make yourself. It is needful that
you frame the season for your own harvest.
CONRAD
Sure, but don’t do it at full volume until there’s no danger in it. Not long ago you challenged and opposed your brother, and it is only very recently that he has forgiven you. You need to act carefully if you’re going to stay in his good graces. You have to wait for the appropriate time to let loose.

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