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Much Ado About Nothing

William Shakespeare

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Act 5, Scene 2, Page 4

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65


BENEDICK
Question: why, an hour in clamor and a quarter in rheum.
Therefore is it most expedient for the wise, if Don Worm,
his conscience, find no impediment to the contrary, to be
the trumpet of his own virtues, as I am to myself. So much
for praising myself, who, I myself will bear witness, is
praiseworthy. An now tell me, how doth your cousin?
BENEDICK
About an hour for the ringing and fifteen minutes for the crying. That’s why it’s better for wise men to trumpet their own virtues, like I do. That’s why I praise myself, who—if I do say so myself—is quite praiseworthy. But tell me, how is your cousin?

BEATRICE
Very ill.
BEATRICE
She’s very sick.

70
BENEDICK
And how do you?
BENEDICK
And how are you?

BEATRICE
Very ill, too.
BEATRICE
I’m very sick, too.


BENEDICK
Serve God, love me, and mend. There will I leave you too,
for here comes one in haste.
BENEDICK
Have faith, love me, and you will get better. And that’s where I’ll end, because someone is hurrying this way.
Enter URSULA
URSULA enters.


75


URSULA
Madam, you must come to your uncle. Yonder’s old coil at
home. It is proved my Lady Hero hath been falsely
accused, the Prince and Claudio mightily abused, and Don
John is the author of all, who is fled and gone. Will you
come presently?
URSULA
Madam, you have to go to your uncle’s. There’s a huge racket going on there. It’s been proven that Lady Hero is innocent, that the Prince and Claudio have been utterly deceived, and that Don John—who has run away—is the source of all the trouble. Will you come immediately?
Exit
She exits.

BEATRICE
Will you go hear this news, Signior?
BEATRICE
Will you come with me to hear this news, sir?

80
BENEDICK
I will live in thy heart, die in thy lap, and be buried in thy
eyes—and moreover, I will go with thee to thy uncle’s.
BENEDICK
I will live in your heart, die in your lap, and be buried in your eyes—and, what’s more, I will go with you to your uncle’s.
Exeunt
They exit.


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