No Fear Shakespeare
Much Ado About Nothing
Get this No Fear to go!
Act 1, Scene 1, Page 11
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DON PEDRO
Well, if ever thou dost fall from this faith, thou wilt prove
a notable argument.
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DON PEDRO
I’ll be sure to remember this fuss you’ve
made, in case you ever do fall in love. That’ll be
news.
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BENEDICK
If I do, hang me in a bottle like a cat and shoot at me, and he
that hits me, let him be clapped on the shoulder and called
Adam.
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BENEDICK
If I ever change my mind, you can use me for target practice. And
whoever hits the bull’s eye gets to be a hero.
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DON PEDRO
Well, as time shall try.
In time the savage bull doth bear the yoke.
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DON PEDRO
Well, time will tell. Even the most savage bull is eventually
domesticated.
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BENEDICK
The savage bull may, but if ever the sensible Benedick bear
it, pluck off the bull’s horns and set them in my
forehead,
and let me be vilely painted, and in such great letters as they
write “Here is good horse to hire” let them
signify under my
sign “Here you may see Benedick the married
man.”
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BENEDICK
Maybe the bull is, but if I am ever
domesticated, you can take that bull’s horns and put them
right on my forehead, as my wife is sure to cuckold me soon enough.
You might as well hang a big sign with enormous lettering around my
neck. But instead of it saying “Horse for
hire,” it will say “Take a look at Benedick,
the married man.”
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CLAUDIO
If this should ever happen, thou wouldst be horn-mad.
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CLAUDIO
If that ever happened, you’d go absolutely mad.
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DON PEDRO
Nay, if Cupid have not spent all his quiver in Venice, thou
wilt quake for this shortly.
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DON PEDRO
Well, if Cupid hasn’t used up all his arrows in Venice,
where the courtesans are famous for making men lovesick,
he’ll get you to quiver and shake. Just you wait.
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BENEDICK
I look for an earthquake too, then.
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BENEDICK
That’s about as likely as an earthquake.
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DON PEDRO
Well, you temporize with the hours. In the meantime, good
Signior Benedick, repair to Leonato’s. Commend me to
him and tell him I will not fail him at supper, for indeed he
hath made great preparation.
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DON PEDRO
Oh, you’ll soften as time passes. While
you’re waiting for that to happen, though, hurry to
Leonato’s. Give him my respects, and tell him
I’ll definitely be there for dinner, since I know he has
gone to great lengths for this meal.
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BENEDICK
I have almost matter enough in me for such an embassage,
and so I commit you—
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BENEDICK
I think I can handle this mission. And so I commit
you—
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