Write down “Master Gentleman
Conrade.”—Masters, do
15
you serve God?
DOGBERRY
Write down “Master Gentleman
Conrade.”—Gentlemen, are you good Christians,
and do you serve God?
CONRADE, BORACHIO
Yea, sir, we hope.
CONRADE, BORACHIO
Yes, sir, we hope so.
DOGBERRY
Write down that they hope they serve God; and write God
first, for God defend but God should go before such
villains!—Masters, it is proved already that you are
little
20
better than false knaves, and it will go near to be thought so
shortly. How answer you for yourselves?
DOGBERRY
Write down that they hope they serve God. Oh, and write
“God” first—for God forbid we put
these criminals before God!—Gentlemen, it's
already been proven that you aren't much better than
lying criminals, and soon we'll know almost for certain.
How do you both plead?
CONRADE
Marry, sir, we say we are none.
CONRADE
Honestly, sir, we say that we are not criminals.
DOGBERRY
A marvelous witty fellow, I assure you, but I will go about
with him.—Come you hither, sirrah, a word in your ear.
25
Sir, I say to you it is thought you are false knaves.
DOGBERRY
He's a marvelously witty fellow, no doubt, but
I'll outmaneuver him.—Come over here;
I'll whisper a word in your ear. Sir, I tell you we
believe you're both lying criminals.
BORACHIO
Sir, I say to you we are none.
BORACHIO
Sir, I tell you that we are not.
DOGBERRY
Well, stand aside.—'Fore God, they are both
in a ale. Have
you writ down that they are none?
DOGBERRY
Well, okay.—I swear to God, both their stories match.
Have you written that down, that they aren't
criminals?
SEXTON
Master Constable, you go not the way to examine. You
30
must call forth the watch that are their accusers.
SEXTON
Master Constable, you're going about this all wrong.
First, you have to speak to the watchmen who accused them.
DOGBERRY
Yea, marry, that's the eftest way.—Let the
watch come
forth. Masters, I charge you in the Prince's name,
accuse
these men.
DOGBERRY
Yes, good idea; that's the eftest
way. Bring the watchmen forward. Gentlemen, I order you in
the Prince's name to accuse these men.
