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Much Ado About Nothing

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Enter DOGBERRY,VERGES, andSEXTON, in gowns; and the Watch, withCONRADE and BORACHIO
DOGBERRY, VERGES, the SEXTON (in his official gown), and theWATCHMEN enter, bringing CONRADE and BORACHIO.

DOGBERRY
Is our whole dissembly appeared?
DOGBERRY

VERGES
Oh, a stool and a cushion for the Sexton.
VERGES
Oh, we need a stool and a cushion for the sexton.
A stool is brought in. SEXTON sits
A stool is brought in. The SEXTON sits down.

SEXTON
Which be the malefactors?
SEXTON
Which ones are the malefactors?

DOGBERRY
Marry, that am I and my partner.
DOGBERRY
Sir, that would be me and my partner.

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VERGES
Nay, that’s certain; we have the exhibition to examine.
VERGES


SEXTON
But which are the offenders that are to be examined? Let
them come before Master Constable.
SEXTON
No, you’ve misunderstood me—where are the criminals whom I’m supposed to examine? Have them come in front of the master constable.


DOGBERRY
Yea, marry, let them come before me.
What is your name, friend?
DOGBERRY
Yes, indeed, bring them before me.
BORACHIO andCONRADE come forward
BORACHIO and CONRADE come forward.
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What’s your name, friend?
What’s your name, friend?

BORACHIO
Borachio.
BORACHIO
Borachio.

DOGBERRY
Pray, write down, “Borachio.”—Yours, sirrah?
DOGBERRY
Please, write down “Borachio.”—And yours?

CONRADE
I am a gentleman, sir, and my name is Conrade.
CONRADE
I’m a gentleman, sir, and my name is Conrade.

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