No Fear Shakespeare
Much Ado About Nothing
Get this No Fear to go!
Act 3, Scene 3, Page 6
Original Text |
Modern Text |
|
|
105 |
BORACHIO
Tush, I may as well say the fool’s the fool. But seest
thou not
what a deformed thief this fashion is?
|
BORACHIO
C’mon, I might as well say the fool’s the
fool! But don’t you see what a deformed villain fashion is?
|
|
|
WATCHMAN
(aside) I know that Deformed. He
has been a vile thief this
seven year. He goes up and down like a gentleman. I
remember his name.
|
WATCHMAN
(speaking so that only the other
WATCHMEN can hear) I know that man, Deformed. For the past seven years, he’s been a wicked
thief. He walks around as if he were a gentleman. I remember that
name.
|
|
110 |
BORACHIO
Didst thou not hear somebody?
|
BORACHIO
Did you hear someone?
|
|
CONRADE
No, ’twas the vane on the house.
|
CONRADE
Just the weathervane moving.
|
|
|
115 |
BORACHIO
Seest thou not, I say, what a deformed thief this fashion is,
how giddily he turns about all the hot bloods between
fourteen and five-and-thirty, sometimes fashioning them
like Pharaoh’s soldiers in the reechy painting,
sometime
like god Bel’s priests in the old church-window,
sometime
like the shaven Hercules in the smirched worm-eaten
tapestry, where his codpiece seems as massy as his club?
|
BORACHIO
As I was saying, fashion is a deformed villain. It makes
hot-blooded young men spin around feverishly, forever changing their
appearances, dictating that sometimes they dress like
Pharoah’s soldiers in that grimy painting and sometimes
like the priests of the god Baal, as seen in old church windows. And
sometimes fashion dresses them like the great Hercules in that
dirty, worm-eaten tapestry—the one where his codpiece seems almost as big as his club.
|
|
120 |
CONRADE
All this I see, and I see that the fashion wears out more
apparel than the man. But art not thou thyself giddy with
the fashion too, that thou hast shifted out of thy tale into
telling me of the fashion?
|
CONRADE
I get all this. And I also understand how fashion changes so
quickly that a man’s clothing never gets a chance to wear
itself out. But you’re all wound up about fashion, too.
Otherwise, why would you stray from your story to blabber on about
it?
|
|
125 130 |
BORACHIO
Not so, neither. But know that I have tonight wooed
Margaret, the Lady Hero’s gentlewoman, by the name of
Hero. She leans me out at her mistress' chamber window,
bids me a thousand times good night. I tell this tale vilely.
I should first tell thee how the Prince, Claudio and my
master, planted and placed and possessed by my master
Don John, saw afar off in the orchard this amiable
encounter.
|
BORACHIO
No, I’m not wound up. But I will tell you that I
seduced Margaret, the Lady Hero’s waiting woman, tonight.
I called her “Hero” the whole time. She leaned
out of her mistress’s bedroom window and told me good
night a thousand times—but I am telling this story
poorly. I should backtrack and begin with how my master, Don John,
arranged for the Prince, Claudio, and himself to witness this
friendly encounter from the orchard.
|
