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Much Ado About Nothing

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Enter DOGBERRY andVERGES with the Watch

DOGBERRY
Are you good men and true?
DOGBERRY
Are you all good and honest men?


VERGES
Yea, or else it were pity but they should suffer salvation,
body and soul.
VERGES
Yes they are, otherwise it would be proper for them to suffer

salvation

By “salvation,” he means “damnation.”

salvation
, body and soul.


5
DOGBERRY
Nay, that were a punishment too good for them, if they
should have any allegiance in them, being chosen for the
Prince’s watch.
DOGBERRY
If they had any

allegiance

By “allegiance,” he means “disloyalty.”

allegiance
when they were chosen for the Prince’s watch, a punishment like that would be too good for them.

VERGES
Well, give them their charge, neighbor Dogberry.
VERGES
Well, give them their assignment, Sir Dogberry.

DOGBERRY
First, who think you the most desartless man to be constable?
DOGBERRY
First, which man do you think is most

desertless

By “desertless” (a made-up word), he means “deserving.”

desertless
to be leader of the watch?


10
FIRST WATCHMAN
Hugh Otecake, sir, or George Seacole, for they can write
and read.
FIRST WATCHMAN
Either Hugh Otecake, sir, or else George Seacole, because both of them can read and write.



DOGBERRY
Come hither, neighbor Seacole. God hath blessed you with
a good name. To be a well-favored man is the gift of fortune,
but to write and read comes by nature.
DOGBERRY
Come here, Sir Seacole. God has blessed you with a good name. To be good-looking is a matter of luck, but to read and write is a natural gift.

SEACOLE
Both which, Master Constable—
SECOND WATCHMAN
Both of which, master constable—

15




20
DOGBERRY
You have. I knew it would be your answer. Well, for your
favor, sir, why, give God thanks, and make no boast of it,
and for your writing and reading, let that appear when there
is no need of such vanity. You are thought here to be the
most senseless and fit man for the constable of the watch;
therefore bear you the lantern. This is your charge:
DOGBERRY
You have. I knew that would be your answer. Well, for your good looks, sir, thank God and don’t boast about it. As for your reading and writing, use those skills when you can’t use your looks. You’re thought to be the most

senseless

By “senseless,” he means “sensible.”

senseless
and fit man here, so you will carry the lantern and be constable. This is your assignment:

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