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A Midsummer Night’s Dream

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Enter OBERON, the King of Fairies, at one side with his train, and TITANIA, the Queen, at the other, with hers
OBERON, the Fairy King, and his followers enter. On the opposite side of the stage, TITANIA, the Fairy Queen, and her followers enter.

OBERON
Ill met by moonlight, proud Titania.
OBERON
How not nice to see you, Titania.


TITANIA
What, jealous Oberon?—Fairies, skip hence.
I have forsworn his bed and company.
TITANIA
What, are you jealous, Oberon?—Fairies, let’s get out of here. I’ve sworn I’ll never sleep with him or talk to him again.

OBERON
Tarry, rash wanton. Am not I thy lord?
OBERON
Wait just a minute, you brazen hussy. Aren’t you supposed to obey me, your lord and husband?

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TITANIA
Then I must be thy lady. But I know
When thou hast stolen away from Fairyland,
And in the shape of Corin sat all day,
Playing on pipes of corn and versing love
To amorous Phillida. Why art thou here,
Come from the farthest step of India?
But that, forsooth, the bouncing Amazon,
Your buskined mistress and your warrior love,
To Theseus must be wedded, and you come
To give their bed joy and prosperity.
TITANIA
If you’re my lord and husband, I must be your lady and wife, so you’re supposed to be faithful to me. But I know for a fact that you snuck away from Fairyland disguised as a shepherd, and spent all day playing straw pipes and singing love poems to your new girlfriend. The only reason you left India was to come here and see that butch Amazon Hippolyta. She was your boot-wearing mistress and your warrior lover, and now that she’s getting married to Theseus, you’ve come to celebrate their marriage.

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OBERON
How canst thou thus for shame, Titania,
Knowing I know thy love to Theseus? Glance at my credit with Hippolyta,
Didst thou not lead him through the glimmering night
From Perigouna, whom he ravishèd?
And make him with fair Ægles break his faith,
With Ariadne and Antiopa?
OBERON
How can you stand there shamelessly talking about me and Hippolyta, when you know that I know about your love for Theseus? Weren’t you the one who made him desert Perigouna in the middle of the night, right after he’d raped her? And weren’t you the one who made him cheat on all of his other girlfriends, like Aegles, Ariadne, and Antiopa?

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A Midsummer Night's Dream (No Fear Shakespeare)