No Fear Shakespeare
The Merchant of Venice
Get this No Fear to go!
Act 1, Scene 2, Page 3
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PORTIA
God made him and therefore let him pass for a man. In
truth, I know it is a sin to be a mocker, but he!—why, he
hath a horse better than the Neapolitan’s, a better bad
habit of frowning than the Count Palatine. He is every
man in no man. If a throstle sing, he falls straight a-
capering. He will fence with his own shadow. If I should
marry him, I should marry twenty husbands. If he would
despise me I would forgive him, for if he love me to
madness I shall never requite him.
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PORTIA
We might as well call him a man, since God created him. No, I know it’s bad to
make fun of people, but still! His horse is better than the Neapolitan’s and he
frowns more than the Count Palatine. He was trying to outdo everyone so much that you
couldn’t tell who he was. He started dancing every time a bird sang, and he was so
eager to show off his fencing that he’d fight with his own shadow. If I married
him, I might as well as marry twenty husbands, because he’s like twenty men all
rolled into one! I’d understand it if he hated me, since even if he loved me
desperately, I’d never be able to love him back.
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NERISSA
What say you then to Falconbridge, the young baron of
England?
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NERISSA
What about Falconbridge, that young English baron?
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PORTIA
You know I say nothing to him, for he understands not
me, nor I him. He hath neither Latin, French, nor Italian,
and you will come into the court and swear that I have a
poor pennyworth in the English. He is a proper man’s
picture, but alas, who can converse with a dumb show?
How oddly he is suited! I think he bought his doublet in
Italy, his round hose in France, his bonnet in Germany,
and his behavior everywhere.
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PORTIA
I have no opinion about him. We don’t talk because we don’t
understand each other. He doesn’t speak Latin, French, or Italian, and you know how
little English I speak. He’s great-looking, but how can you talk to someone who
doesn’t speak your language? He was dressed so oddly too! I think he got his jacket
in Italy, his tights in France, his hat in Germany, and his behavior everywhere.
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NERISSA
What think you of the Scottish lord, his neighbor?
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NERISSA
What do you think of his neighbor, the Scottish lord?
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PORTIA
That he hath a neighborly charity in him, for he borrowed
a box of the ear of the Englishman and swore he would
pay him again when he was able. I think the Frenchman
became his surety and sealed under for another.
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PORTIA
I think he’s very forgiving, since he let the Englishman slap him on the ear
without hitting him back. Rather than defend himself, he just threatened to pay the
Englishman back later. Then the Frenchman promised to help the Scot pay the Englishman back,
and added a slap of his own.
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