Why, what a monstrous fellow art thou, thus to rail on one
that is neither known of thee nor knows thee!
OSWALD
What an ogre you are to slander someone you don't know, and who doesn't know you!
KENT
What a brazen-faced varlet art thou to deny thou knowest
25
me! Is it two days ago since I tripped up thy heels and beat
thee before the king? Draw, you rogue, for though it be
night yet the moon shines. I'll make a sop o' th' moonshine
of you. (draws his sword) Draw, you whoreson cullionly
barber-monger, draw!
KENT
What a shameless jerk you are to pretend you don't know me! It was just two days ago that I tripped you and beat you up in front of the king. Draw your sword, scoundrel. It may be nighttime, but there's enough moonlight to fight by. I'll make ground beef out of you. (he draws his sword) Draw, you affected, preening son of a bitch! Draw your sword!
OSWALD
30
Away! I have nothing to do with thee.
OSWALD
Get away from me! I've got nothing to do with you.
KENT
Draw, you rascal. You come with letters against the king
and take Vanity the puppet's part against the royalty of her
father. Draw, you rogue, or I'll so carbonado your shanks.
Draw, you rascal! Come your ways.
KENT
Draw your sword, you jerk! You come here with letters against the king, and you take his conceited daughter's side against his royal highness. Draw your sword, scoundrel, or I'll slice your thighs like flank steak. Draw your sword! Come on!
OSWALD
35
Help, ho! Murder! Help!
OSWALD
Help! Murderer! Help!
KENT
Strike, you slave. Stand, rogue. Stand, you neat slave,
strike! (strikes OSWALD)
KENT
Fight, peasant. Don't run away, scoundrel. Stand and fight, you overdressed servant, fight! (he hits OSWALD)
OSWALD
Help, ho! Murder, murder!
OSWALD
Help! Murder, murder!
Enter EDMUND the bastard with his rapier drawn, the Duke of CORNWALL, the Duchess REGAN, GLOUCESTER, and servants
EDMUND enters with his sword drawn, followed by the Duke of CORNWALL, the Duchess REGAN, GLOUCESTER, and servants.
EDMUND
How now? What's the matter? Part.
EDMUND
What's going on here? Get away from each other.
KENT
40
(to EDMUND) With you, goodman boy, if you please. Come,
I'll flesh ye. Come on, young master.
KENT
(to EDMUND) Well, kid, let's see you fight. Come on, I'll show you how.
