No Fear Shakespeare
King Lear
Get this No Fear to go!
Act 2, Scene 2
Original Text | Modern Text | |
Enter KENT disguised and OSWALD the steward, severally |
KENT enters in disguise. OSWALD enters from elsewhere. | |
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OSWALD
Good dawning to thee, friend. Art of this house?
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OSWALD
Good morning to you, friend. Do you work in this house?
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KENT
Ay.
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KENT
Yes, I do.
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OSWALD
Where may we set our horses?
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OSWALD
Where should we stable our horses?
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KENT
I' th' mire.
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KENT
In the mud.
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5 |
OSWALD
Prithee, if thou lovest me, tell me.
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OSWALD
Please, sir, be kind to me and tell me.
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KENT
I love thee not.
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KENT
I won’t be kind to you.
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OSWALD
Why, then, I care not for thee.
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OSWALD
In that case, I don’t much care for you either.
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KENT
If I had thee in Lipsbury pinfold, I would make thee care
for me.
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KENT
If I could get my hands on you, I’d make you care.
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10 |
OSWALD
Why dost thou use me thus? I know thee not.
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OSWALD
Why are you talking to me like this? I don’t even know you.
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KENT
Fellow, I know thee.
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KENT
Ah, but I know you.
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OSWALD
What dost thou know me for?
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OSWALD
Who am I then?
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KENT
A knave, a rascal, an eater of broken meats; a base, proud,
shallow, beggarly, three-suited, hundred-pound, filthy,
worsted-stocking knave; a lily-livered, action-taking knave;
a whoreson, glass-gazing, super-serviceable finical rogue;
one-trunk-inheriting slave; one that wouldst be a bawd in
way of good service; and art nothing but the composition of
a knave, beggar, coward, pander, and the son and heir of a
mongrel bitch; one whom I will beat into clamorous whining
if thou deniest the least syllable of thy addition.
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KENT
You’re a lowlife, a rascal who eats leftover scraps. You’re an ignoble, arrogant, shallow, vulgar, pretentious, conceited, filthy third-rate servant who thinks he’s something special. You’re a cowardly lawyer-loving bastard; a vain, brown-nosing, prissy scoundrel who’d pimp himself out to advance his career; a bag lady. You’re nothing but a lowlife, a beggar, a coward, and a pimp, the son and heir of a mutt bitch. I’ll beat you until you whine and cry if you deny the least bit of this.
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