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| Enter KENT disguised and OSWALD the steward, severally |
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KENT enters in disguise. OSWALD enters from elsewhere. |
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| | OSWALD |
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Good dawning to thee, friend. Art of this house? |
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| OSWALD |
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Good morning to you, friend. Do you work in this house? |
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| | OSWALD |
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Where may we set our horses? |
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| OSWALD |
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Where should we stable our horses? |
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| | OSWALD |
| 5 |
Prithee, if thou lovest me, tell me. |
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| OSWALD |
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Please, sir, be kind to me and tell me. |
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| KENT |
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I won't be kind to you. |
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| | OSWALD |
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Why, then, I care not for thee. |
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| OSWALD |
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In that case, I don't much care for you either. |
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| | KENT |
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If I had thee in Lipsbury pinfold, I would make thee care |
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for me. |
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| KENT |
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If I could get my hands on you, I'd make you care. |
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| | OSWALD |
| 10 |
Why dost thou use me thus? I know thee not. |
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| OSWALD |
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Why are you talking to me like this? I don't even know you. |
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| | KENT |
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Fellow, I know thee. |
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| | OSWALD |
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What dost thou know me for? |
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| | KENT |
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A knave, a rascal, an eater of broken meats; a base, proud, |
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shallow, beggarly, three-suited, hundred-pound, filthy, |
| 15 |
worsted-stocking knave; a lily-livered, action-taking knave; |
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a whoreson, glass-gazing, super-serviceable finical rogue; |
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one-trunk-inheriting slave; one that wouldst be a bawd in |
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way of good service; and art nothing but the composition of |
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a knave, beggar, coward, pander, and the son and heir of a |
| 20 |
mongrel bitch; one whom I will beat into clamorous whining |
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if thou deniest the least syllable of thy addition. |
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| KENT |
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You're a lowlife, a rascal who eats leftover scraps. You're an ignoble, arrogant, shallow, vulgar, pretentious, conceited, filthy third-rate servant who thinks he's something special. You're a cowardly lawyer-loving bastard; a vain, brown-nosing, prissy scoundrel who'd pimp himself out to advance his career; a bag lady. You're nothing but a lowlife, a beggar, a coward, and a pimp, the son and heir of a mutt bitch. I'll beat you until you whine and cry if you deny the least bit of this. |
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