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95
LEAR
Why, my boy?
LEAR
Why, my boy?


FOOL
If I gave them all my living, I’d keep my coxcombs myself.
There’s mine. Beg another of thy daughters.
FOOL
If I gave them all I own, I’d have two fool’s caps for myself. Here’s mine. Ask your daughters for another one.

LEAR
Take heed, sirrah—the whip.
LEAR
Watch out, boy—remember I can whip you.

FOOL
Truth’s a dog that must to kennel. He must be whipped out, when Lady Brach may stand by th' fire and stink.
FOOL
I get whipped like a dog for telling the truth, while Lady Bitch gets to stand around the fire and stink the place up with her false words.

LEAR
A pestilent gall to me!
LEAR
A constant pain to me!

FOOL
Sirrah, I’ll teach thee a speech.
FOOL
I’ll recite something for you, guy.

LEAR
Do.
LEAR
Yes, do that.


105




110



FOOL
Mark it, nuncle.
Have more than thou showest,
Speak less than thou knowest,
Lend less than thou owest,
Ride more than thou goest,
Learn more than thou trowest,
Set less than thou throwest,
Leave thy drink and thy whore
And keep in-a-door,
And thou shalt have more
Than two tens to a score.
FOOL
Listen up, uncle.
Have more than you show,
Speak less than you know,
Lend less than you owe.
Ride more than you walk,
Don’t believe everything you hear,
Don’t bet everything on one throw of the dice,
Leave behind your booze and your whore,
And stay indoors,
And you’ll end up with more
Than two tens to a twenty.

115
KENT
This is nothing, Fool.
KENT
That makes no sense, Fool. It’s nothing.

FOOL
Then ’tis like the breath of an unfee’d lawyer. You gave me nothing for ’t.—Can you make no use of nothing, nuncle?
FOOL
In that case it’s like the words of an unpaid lawyer. You paid me nothing for it. Can’t you make any use of nothing, uncle?

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