No Fear Shakespeare

Henry IV Part 2

William Shakespeare

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Act 5, Scene 3, Page 6

Original Text

Modern Text




SHALLOW
Give me pardon, sir. If, sir, you come with news from the
court, I take it there’s but two ways, either to utter them, or
to conceal them. I am, sir, under the King in some authority.
SHALLOW
Forgive me saying so, sir, but if you’ve got news from the court, then you have only two choices: you can either tell it or not tell it. I have some authority from the King, you know.

PISTOL
Under which king, besonian? Speak or die.
PISTOL
From which king, you beggar? Speak, or die.

100
SHALLOW
Under King Harry.
SHALLOW
For King Henry.

PISTOL
Harry the Fourth, or Fifth?
PISTOL
Henry the Fourth, or Fifth?

SHALLOW
Harry the Fourth.
SHALLOW
Henry the Fourth.



105


PISTOL
A foutre for thine office!—
Sir John, thy tender lambkin now is king.
Harry the Fifth’s the man. I speak the truth.
When Pistol lies, do this (he makes an obscene gesture) and
   fig me, like
The bragging Spaniard.
PISTOL
Then screw your position! Sir John, your tender little lamb is now the king. Henry the Fifth’s the man, and I speak the truth. When Pistol tells a lie, do this (he makes an obscene gesture) and tell me to go screw myself, like some crazy Spaniard.

FALSTAFF
What, is the old king dead?
FALSTAFF
What? Is the old King dead?

PISTOL
As nail in door. The things I speak are just.
PISTOL
As a doornail: these things I say are true.

110

FALSTAFF
Away, Bardolph.—Saddle my horse.—Master Robert
Shallow, choose what office thou wilt in the land,
’tis thine. Pistol, I will double-charge thee with dignities.
FALSTAFF
Get going, Bardolph! Saddle up my horse. Master Robert Shallow, pick whatever job you want in the whole country: it’s yours. Pistol, I’ll pile honors on you.

BARDOLPH
O joyful day! I would not take a knighthood for my fortune.
BARDOLPH
Oh happy day! I wouldn’t even trade a knighthood for my new, good fortune.

PISTOL
What, I do bring good news!
PISTOL
There you go! I brought good news!

115
FALSTAFF
Carry Master Silence to bed.—Master Shallow, my Lord
Shallow, be what thou wilt. I am Fortune’s steward. Get on
FALSTAFF
Carry Master Silence to bed. Master Shallow—Lord Shallow—call yourself whatever you want. I’m in

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