No Fear Shakespeare
Henry IV Part 2
Get this No Fear to go!
Act 5, Scene 3, Page 6
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SHALLOW
Give me pardon, sir. If, sir, you come with news from the
court, I take it there’s but two ways, either to utter them, or
to conceal them. I am, sir, under the King in some authority.
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SHALLOW
Forgive me saying so, sir, but if you’ve got news from the court, then you have only two choices: you can either tell it or not tell it. I have some authority from the King, you know.
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PISTOL
Under which king, besonian? Speak or die.
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PISTOL
From which king, you beggar? Speak, or die.
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SHALLOW
Under King Harry.
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SHALLOW
For King Henry.
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PISTOL
Harry the Fourth, or Fifth?
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PISTOL
Henry the Fourth, or Fifth?
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SHALLOW
Harry the Fourth.
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SHALLOW
Henry the Fourth.
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PISTOL
A foutre for thine office!—
Sir John, thy tender lambkin now is king.
Harry the Fifth’s the man. I speak the truth.
When Pistol lies, do this (he makes an obscene gesture) and
fig me, like
The bragging Spaniard.
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PISTOL
Then screw your position! Sir John, your tender little lamb is now the king. Henry the Fifth’s the man, and I speak the truth. When Pistol tells a lie, do this (he makes an obscene gesture) and tell me to go screw myself, like some crazy Spaniard.
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FALSTAFF
What, is the old king dead?
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FALSTAFF
What? Is the old King dead?
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PISTOL
As nail in door. The things I speak are just.
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PISTOL
As a doornail: these things I say are true.
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FALSTAFF
Away, Bardolph.—Saddle my horse.—Master Robert
Shallow, choose what office thou wilt in the land,
’tis thine. Pistol, I will double-charge thee with dignities.
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FALSTAFF
Get going, Bardolph! Saddle up my horse. Master Robert Shallow, pick whatever job you want in the whole country: it’s yours. Pistol, I’ll pile honors on you.
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BARDOLPH
O joyful day! I would not take a knighthood for my fortune.
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BARDOLPH
Oh happy day! I wouldn’t even trade a knighthood for my new, good fortune.
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PISTOL
What, I do bring good news!
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PISTOL
There you go! I brought good news!
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FALSTAFF
Carry Master Silence to bed.—Master Shallow, my Lord
Shallow, be what thou wilt. I am Fortune’s steward. Get on
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FALSTAFF
Carry Master Silence to bed. Master Shallow—Lord Shallow—call yourself whatever you want. I’m in
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