No Fear Shakespeare
Henry IV Part 1
Get this No Fear to go!
Act 2, Scene 2
Original Text |
Modern Text |
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Enter PRINCE HENRY, POINS, BARDOLPH, and PETO
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PRINCE HENRY, POINS, PETO, and BARDOLPH enter. |
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POINS
Come, shelter, shelter! I have removed Falstaff’s horse, and
he frets like a gummed velvet.
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POINS
Come on, hide, hide! I stole Falstaff’s horse, and he’s rubbed the wrong way; he’s fraying like cheap velvet.
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PRINCE HENRY
Stand close.
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PRINCE HENRY
Stay hidden.
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Exit POINS, BARDOLPH, and PETO exit |
POINS, PETO and BARDOLPH exit. |
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Enter FALSTAFF
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FALSTAFF enters. |
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FALSTAFF
Poins! Poins, and be hanged! Poins!
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FALSTAFF
Poins! Poins, damn you! Poins!
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PRINCE HENRY
Peace, you fat-kidneyed rascal. What a brawling dost thou
keep!
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PRINCE HENRY
Quiet, you fat-bellied jerk! What a racket you’re making!
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FALSTAFF
Where’s Poins, Hal?
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FALSTAFF
Where’s Poins, Hal?
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PRINCE HENRY
He is walked up to the top of the hill. I’ll go seek him.
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PRINCE HENRY
He walked up the hill. I’ll go find him.
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Exit PRINCE HENRY
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PRINCE HENRY
exits. |
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FALSTAFF
I am accursed to rob in that thief’s company. The rascal hath
removed my horse and tied him I know not where. If I travel
but four foot by the square further afoot, I shall break my
wind. Well, I doubt not but to die a fair death for all this, if
I ’scape hanging for killing that rogue. I have forsworn his
company hourly any time this two-and-twenty years, and
yet I am bewitched with the rogue’s company. If the rascal
hath not given me medicines to make me love him, I’ll be
hanged. It could not be else: I have drunk medicines.—
Poins! Hal! A plague upon you both.—Bardolph! Peto!—
I’ll starve ere I’ll rob a foot further. An ’twere not as good
a deed as drink to turn true man and to leave these rogues,
I am the veriest varlet that ever chewed with a tooth. Eight
yards of uneven ground is threescore and ten miles afoot
with me, and the stony-hearted villains know it well enough.
A plague upon it when thieves cannot be true one to another!
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FALSTAFF
I got a raw deal, to be out robbing with him. He stole my horse and tied him up someplace. If I have to walk even four feet more, I’ll be totally out of breath. Still, I bet I’ll die a natural death—if I don’t get hanged for killing that jerk, that is. Every hour for the past twenty-two years, I’ve sworn I’d never talk to him again, but I love his company. He must have slipped me a love potion that makes me adore him. Damn, that must be it: I have drunk love potions. Poins! Hal! Drop dead, the both of you! Bardolph! Peto! I’ll die if I have to walk another foot. If turning honest and abandoning these jerks weren’t the best things I could possibly do for myself, then I’m the worst scoundrel that ever lived. Eight yards of rough road is like seventy miles to me, and these hard-hearted crooks know it. It stinks when there’s no honor among thieves.
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