Why, they will allo w us ne'er a jordan, and then we leak in
your chimney, and your chamber-lye breeds fleas like a loach.
SECOND CARRIER
They don't even give us a bathroom. So we pee in the fireplace, and you know that urine breeds fleas like nobody's business.
FIRST CARRIER
What, ostler, come away and be hanged. Come away.
FIRST CARRIER
Hey, ostler! Come on already, damn you!
SECOND CARRIER
I have a gammon of bacon and two races of ginger to be
20
delivered as far as Charing Cross.
SECOND CARRIER
I've got to deliver a ham and some ginger root all the way to Charing Cross.
FIRST CARRIER
God's body, the turkeys in my pannier are quite starved.—
What, ostler! A plague on thee! Hast thou never an eye in thy
head? Canst not hear? An 'twere not as good deed as drink
to break the pate on thee, I am a very villain. Come, and be
25
hanged. Hast no faith in thee?
FIRST CARRIER
God almighty! The turkeys I'm carrying are starving! Hey, Stable-boy! Curse you! Can't you see? Can't you hear? If it isn't a good idea to knock you on the head, I'm a fool. Come on, damn you! Can't we trust you to do your job?
Enter GADSHILL
GADSHILL enters.
GADSHILL
Good morrow, carriers. What's o'clock?
GADSHILL
Morning, deliverymen. What time is it?
FIRST CARRIER
I think it be two o'clock.
FIRST CARRIER
I think it's two o'clock.
GADSHILL
I prithee, lend me thy lantern to see my gelding in the stable.
GADSHILL
Let me borrow your lantern so I can check on my horse in the stable.
FIRST CARRIER
Nay, by God, soft. I know a trick worth two of that, i' faith.
FIRST CARRIER
No way, by God; just hold on a minute. I know a few tricks like that myself, I swear.
GADSHILL
30
(to SECOND CARRIER) I pray thee, lend me thine.
GADSHILL
(to
SECOND CARRIER) Please, let me borrow yours.
SECOND CARRIER
Ay, when, canst tell? “Lend me thy lantern,” quoth he.
Marry, I'll see thee hanged first.
SECOND CARRIER
Sure, whenever. Whatever you say. “Let me borrow your lantern,” he says? Yeah, right. I'll see you dead first.
GADSHILL
Sirrah carrier, what time do you mean to come to London?
