No Fear Shakespeare
Henry IV Part 1
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Act 1, Scene 2, Page 4
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FALSTAFF
Yea, for obtaining of suits, whereof the hangman hath
no lean wardrobe. 'Sblood, I am as melancholy as a gib cat or
a lugged bear.
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FALSTAFF
Exactly. I’ve got plenty of those, just like the hangman has plenty of suits—the suits he takes off the dead men he hangs.—Damn, I’m as depressed as a tomcat or a dancing bear in chains.
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PRINCE HENRY
Or an old lion, or a lover’s lute.
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PRINCE HENRY
Or an old lion, or a guitar playing a sad lovesong.
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FALSTAFF
Yea, or the drone of a Lincolnshire bagpipe.
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FALSTAFF
Or the wailing of a bagpipe.
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PRINCE HENRY
What sayest thou to a hare, or the melancholy of
Moorditch?
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PRINCE HENRY
How about a rabbit, or a trip to Moorditch?
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FALSTAFF
Thou hast the most unsavory similes, and art indeed the most
comparative, rascaliest, sweet young Prince. But, Hal, I
comparative, rascaliest, sweet young Prince. But, Hal, I
prithee trouble me no more with vanity. I would to God thou
and I knew where a commodity of good names were to be
bought. An old lord of the council rated me the other day in
the street about you, sir, but I marked him not, and yet he
talked very wisely, but I regarded him not, and yet he talked
wisely, and in the street, too.
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FALSTAFF
You have a knack for foul images. You are the most metaphorical and rascally, sweet young Prince. But Hal, please stop corrupting me with frivolous matters. I wish to God that you and I knew where we could buy a supply of good reputations. The other day, an elderly lord on the King’s Council came up to me in the street and lectured me about you, but I didn’t pay any attention. He spoke wisely, but I ignored him. But he made sense, and in the street, too.
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PRINCE HENRY
Thou didst well, for wisdom cries out in the streets and no
man regards it.
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PRINCE HENRY
You did well. You know the scripture: “Wisdom cries out in the street but no man listens.”
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FALSTAFF
O, thou hast damnable iteration, and art indeed able to
corrupt a saint. Thou hast done much harm upon me, Hal,
God forgive thee for it. Before I knew thee, Hal, I knew
nothing, and now am I, if a man should speak truly, little
better than one of the wicked. I must give over this life, and
I will give it over. By the Lord, an I do not, I am a villain.
I’ll be damned for never a king’s son in Christendom.
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FALSTAFF
Oh, you have a wicked talent for wrongly quoting scripture, you really could corrupt a saint. You’ve deeply harmed me, Hal, and God forgive you for it! Before I met you, I was innocent. And now, if I can speak truly, I’m no better than a sinner. I’ve got to change my life, and I will change my life, by God. If I don’t, I’m an evildoer. I won’t be damned, not for any king’s son in the universe.
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