sound like your average young guy, the kind of trouble they get
into.
REYNALDO
As gaming, my lord?
REYNALDO
Like gambling, sir?
POLONIUS
25
Ay, or drinking, fencing, swearing,
Quarreling, drabbing—you may go so far.
POLONIUS
That's right, or drinking, swearing, fist-fighting,
visiting prostitutes—that kind of thing.
REYNALDO
My lord, that would dishonor him!
REYNALDO
But that would ruin his reputation!
POLONIUS
'Faith, no, as you may season it in the charge.
You must not put another scandal on him
30
That he is open to incontinency.
That's not my meaning. But breathe his faults so
quaintly
That they may seem the taints of liberty,
The flash and outbreak of a fiery mind,
A savageness in unreclaimèd blood,
35
Of general assault.
POLONIUS
Oh no, not if you say it right. I don't want you to say
he's a sex fiend, that's not what I mean. Just
mention his faults lightly, so they make him seem like a free spirit
who's gone a little too far.
REYNALDO
But, my good lord—
REYNALDO
But, sir—
POLONIUS
Wherefore should you do this?
POLONIUS
Why should you do this, you want to know?
REYNALDO
Ay, my lord. I would know that.
REYNALDO
Yes, sir. I'd like to know.
POLONIUS
Marry, sir, here's my drift:
(And I believe it is a fetch of wit)
40
You, laying these slight sullies on my son
As 'twere a thing a little soiled i'
th' working—
Mark you, your party in converse, him you would sound,
Having ever seen in the prenominate crimes
The youth you breathe of guilty, be assured
45
He closes with you in this consequence:
“Good sir” or so, or
“Friend,” or
“Gentleman,”
According to the phrase or the addition
Of man and country.
POLONIUS
Well, here's what I'm thinking.
(I'm quite proud of myself for coming up with this.) As
you talk with someone and hint about my son's faults and
little sins, you'll watch his reaction, and if
he's ever seen Laertes do any of these things, it will
only be natural for him to agree with you, at which point
he'll call you “sir,” or
“my good friend,” depending on who the person
is, where he comes from, and so on.
