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HAMLET
(to MARCELLUS) I am very glad to see you.—(to BARNARDO) Good even, sir.
(to HORATIO) —But what, in faith, make you from Wittenberg?
HAMLET
(to MARCELLUS) So nice to see you.—(to BARNARDO) Hello, sir.(to HORATIO)—But what are you doing away from Wittenberg, Horatio?

HORATIO
A truant disposition, good my lord.
HORATIO
I felt like skipping school, sir.


170



HAMLET
I would not hear your enemy say so,
Nor shall you do mine ear that violence,
To make it truster of your own report
Against yourself. I know you are no truant.
But what is your affair in Elsinore?
We’ll teach you to drink deep ere you depart.
HAMLET
I wouldn’t allow your enemies to say that, and I won’t believe it from you. I know you’d never skip school. What are you doing here in Elsinore? I’ll teach you to drink hard by the time you leave.

175
HORATIO
My lord, I came to see your father’s funeral.
HORATIO
Sir, we came to see your father’s funeral.


HAMLET
I pray thee, do not mock me, fellow student.
I think it was to see my mother’s wedding.
HAMLET
Please, don’t make fun of me. I think you came to see my mother’s wedding instead.

HORATIO
Indeed, my lord, it followed hard upon.
HORATIO
Well, sir, it’s true it came soon after.


180


HAMLET
Thrift, thrift, Horatio! The funeral baked meats
Did coldly furnish forth the marriage tables.
Would I had met my dearest foe in heaven
Or ever I had seen that day, Horatio.
My father—methinks I see my father.
HAMLET
It was all about saving a few bucks, Horatio. The leftovers from the funeral dinner made a convenient wedding banquet. Oh, I’d rather have met my fiercest enemy in heaven, Horatio, than have lived through that terrible day! My father—I think I see my father.

HORATIO
Where, my lord?
HORATIO
Where, sir?

HAMLET
  In my mind’s eye, Horatio.
HAMLET
In my imagination, Horatio.

185
HORATIO
I saw him once. He was a goodly king.
HORATIO
I saw him once. He was an admirable king.


HAMLET
He was a man. Take him for all in all.
I shall not look upon his like again.
HAMLET
He was a great human being. He was perfect in everything. I’ll never see the likes of him again.

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