The Frenchman gave you, bring you in fine together
And wager on your heads. He, being remiss,
Most generous and free from all contriving,
Will not peruse the foils; so that, with ease,
Or with a little shuffling, you may choose
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A sword unbated, and in a pass of practice
Requite him for your father.
CLAUDIUS
It's true, no place—not even a
church—should offer refuge to that murderer. Revenge
should have no limits. But Laertes, will you do this: stay in your
room? When Hamlet comes home he'll learn
you're here. I'll have people praise your
excellence and put a double coat on the fame the Frenchman gave you.
In short, we'll get you together and place bets on you.
Hamlet's so careless, high-minded, and unsuspecting that
he won't examine the swords beforehand, so you can easily
choose one with a sharpened point and in one thrust avenge the death
of your father.
LAERTES
I will do
't.
And for that purpose I'll anoint my sword.
I bought an unction of a mountebank,
So mortal that, but dip a knife in it,
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Where it draws blood no cataplasm so rare,
Collected from all simples that have virtue
Under the moon, can save the thing from death
That is but scratched withal. I'll touch my point
With this contagion, that if I gall him slightly
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It may be death.
LAERTES
I'll do it, and I'll put a little dab of
something on my sword as well. From a quack doctor I bought some oil
so poisonous that if you dip a knife in it, no medicine in the world
can save the person who's scratched by it. If I even
graze his skin slightly, he's likely to die.
CLAUDIUS
Let's further think of this,
Weigh what convenience both of time and means
May fit us to our shape. If this should fail,
And that our drift look through our bad performance,
'Twere better not assayed. Therefore this
project
CLAUDIUS
Let's think about this, and consider what time and what
method will be most appropriate. If our plan were to fail, and
people found out about it, it would be better never to have tried
it.
We should have a backup ready in case the first plan
doesn't work. Let me think. We'll place bets
on you and Hamlet—that's it! When the two of
you have gotten all sweaty and hot—keep him jumping
around a lot for that purpose—Hamlet will ask for
something to drink. I'll have a cup ready for him. If by
chance he
