Not where he eats, but where he is eaten. A certain
convocation of politic worms are e'en at him. Your worm
is
your only emperor for diet. We fat all creatures else to fat us,
and we fat ourselves for maggots. Your fat king and your
25
lean beggar is but variable service—two dishes, but to
one
table. That's the end.
HAMLET
Not where he's eating, but where he's being
eaten. A certain conference of worms is chowing down on him. Worms
are the emperor of all diets. We fatten up all creatures to feed
ourselves, and we fatten ourselves for the worms to eat when
we're dead. A fat king and a skinny beggar are just two
dishes at the same meal. That's all I have to say.*
CLAUDIUS
Alas, alas!
CLAUDIUS
Oh no, oh no!
HAMLET
A man may fish with the worm that hath eat of a king, and
eat of the fish that hath fed of that worm.
HAMLET
A man can fish with the worm that ate a king, and then eat the
fish he catches with that worm.
CLAUDIUS
30
What dost you mean by this?
CLAUDIUS
What do you mean by that?
HAMLET
Nothing but to show you how a king may go a progress
through the guts of a beggar.
HAMLET
Nothing much, just to demonstrate that a king can move through the
bowels of a beggar.
CLAUDIUS
Where is Polonius?
CLAUDIUS
Where is Polonius?
HAMLET
In heaven. Send hither to see. If your messenger find him
35
not there, seek him i' th' other place
yourself. But if indeed
you find him not within this month, you shall nose him as
you go up the stairs into the lobby.
HAMLET
In heaven. Send a messager there if you want to be sure. If your
messenger can't find him, you can check hell yourself.
But seriously, if you don't find him within the next
month, you'll be sure to smell him as you go upstairs
into the main hall.
