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The Comedy of Errors

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120
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE
O, sir, upon her nose, all o'er-embellished with rubies, carbuncles, sapphires, declining their rich aspect to the hot breath of Spain, who sent whole armadas of caracks to be ballast at her nose.
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE
Oh, sir, on her nose, which is covered with pimples, sores, and red welts. It points straight down at her mouth, which catches everything that drips from it.

ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE
Where stood Belgia, the Netherlands?
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE

125
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE
O, sir, I did not look so low. To conclude: this drudge or diviner laid claim to me, call’d me Dromio, swore I was assured to her, told me what privy marks I had about me, as the mark of my shoulder, the mole in my neck, the great wart on my left arm, that I, amazed, ran from her as a witch. And, I think, if my breast had not been made of faith, and my heart of steel, She had transformed me to a curtal dog and made me turn i' th' wheel.
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE
Oh, sir, I didn’t look down there. In conclusion, this witch said I was hers. She called me Dromio and swore I’d promised to marry her. She knew private things about my body, like the birthmark on my shoulder, the mole on my neck, and the huge wart on my left arm. I was terrified, and I ran away from her as if she were a witch. And I think that if I hadn’t been brave and strong, she would have turned me into a dog and made me her slave.



135



ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE
Go, hie thee presently. Post to the road.
An if the wind blow any way from shore,
I will not harbor in this town tonight.
If any bark put forth, come to the mart,
Where I will walk till thou return to me.
If every one knows us, and we know none,
'Tis time, I think, to trudge, pack, and be gone.
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE
Get going—hustle over to the port. If there’s enough wind for a ship to sail out tonight, I won’t spend tonight in this town. If a ship’s leaving, come to the marketplace. I’ll wait there for you. If everyone here knows us but we don’t know anybody, it’s time, I think, for us to pack our bags and take off.

140
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE
As from a bear a man would run for life,
So fly I from her that would be my wife.
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE
I’ll run from this woman who claims to be my wife as fast as I’d run from a bear.
Exit DROMIO OF SYRACUSE
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE exits.




145
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE
There’s none but witches do inhabit here,
And therefore ’tis high time that I were hence.
She that doth call me husband, even my soul
Doth for a wife abhor. But her fair sister,
Possessed with such a gentle sovereign grace,
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE
Everyone who lives here is a witch. That means it’s high time for me to go. That woman who claims I am her husband—I loathe her in my soul. But her gorgeous sister, who’s so lovely and gracious, who’s so charming and who speaks so well,

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