Skip over navigation

The Comedy of Errors

Original Text

Modern Text

tallow in them will burn a Poland winter. If she lives till doomsday, she’ll burn a week longer than the whole world.
clothes are so oily, they’d burn through the longest winter. Even if she lives till the end of the world, she’d keep burning an additional week.

ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE
What complexion is she of?
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE
What’s her skin like?

95
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE
Swart like my shoe, but her face nothing like so clean kept. For why? She sweats. A man may go overshoes in the grime of it.
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE
It’s dark, like my shoe. But it’s not as clean. You’d be up to your ankles in how filthy it is.

ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE
That’s a fault that water will mend.
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE
Some water will fix that.

DROMIO OF SYRACUSE
No, sir, ’tis in grain; Noah’s flood could not do it.
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE
No, it’s permanent. Noah’s flood wouldn’t be enough water to clean it.

100
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE
What’s her name?
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE
What’s her name?

DROMIO OF SYRACUSE
Nell, sir, but her name and three quarters—that’s an ell and three quarters—will not measure her from hip to hip.
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE
Nell. But an

ell

An “ell” is a unit of measure forty-five inches long.

ell
and three-quarters wouldn’t be long enough to measure her waist.

ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE
Then she bears some breadth?
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE
So she’s wide?

DROMIO OF SYRACUSE
No longer from head to foot than from hip to hip. She is spherical, like a globe. I could find out countries in her.
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE
Her hips are as wide as she is tall. She’s round, like a globe. I could use her like a map to find out where countries are.

ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE
In what part of her body stands Ireland?
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE
What part of her body is Ireland?

DROMIO OF SYRACUSE
Marry, sir, in her buttocks. I found it out by the bogs.
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE

ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE
Where Scotland?
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE
Where’s Scotland?

More Help

Previous Next
s