No Fear Shakespeare
The Comedy of Errors
Get this No Fear to go!
Act 3, Scene 2, Page 4
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ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE
Thou art Dromio, thou art my man, thou art thyself.
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ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE
You are Dromio, you are my servant, and you are yourself.
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DROMIO OF SYRACUSE
I am an ass, I am a woman’s man, and besides myself.
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DROMIO OF SYRACUSE
I’m an ass, I’m a woman’s servant, and I’m beside myself.
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ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE
What woman’s man? And how besides thyself?
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ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE
What woman’s servant? What do you mean, beside yourself?
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DROMIO OF SYRACUSE
Marry, sir, besides myself I am due to a woman, one that
claims me, one that haunts me, one that will have me.
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DROMIO OF SYRACUSE
I’ll tell you. Besides belonging to myself, I belong to a woman. A woman who says she owns me, who won’t leave me alone, and who wants me.
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ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE
What claim lays she to thee?
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ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE
How does she claim to own you?
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DROMIO OF SYRACUSE
Marry, sir, such claim as you would lay to your horse; and
she would have me as a beast; not that I being a beast she
would have me, but that she, being a very beastly creature,
lays claim to me.
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DROMIO OF SYRACUSE
The same way a person would claim to own his horse. And she wants me as a beast. I don’t mean that she wants me because I’m a beast, but that she, who is a beast, says I belong to her.
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ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE
What is she?
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ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE
What’s she like?
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DROMIO OF SYRACUSE
A very reverent body, ay, such a one as a man may not speak
of without he say “sir-reverence.” I have but lean luck in the
match, and yet is she a wondrous fat marriage.
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DROMIO OF SYRACUSE
She has a very significant body. You couldn’t even talk about it without saying, “I beg your pardon.” My luck would be running thin if I ended up with her, although she’d make it a fat marriage.
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ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE
How dost thou mean a “fat marriage”?
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ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE
What do you mean, a fat marriage?
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DROMIO OF SYRACUSE
Marry, sir, she’s the kitchen wench, and all grease, and I
know not what use to put her to but to make a lamp of her
and run from her by her own light. I warrant her rags and the
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DROMIO OF SYRACUSE
Sir, she works in the kitchen, so she’s oily. The only thing I could do with her is to use all that oil as fuel in a lamp and then use that light to run away by. Her
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