No Fear Shakespeare
The Comedy of Errors
Get this No Fear to go!
Act 3, Scene 1, Page 6
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DROMIO OF EPHESUS
Here’s too much “out upon thee!” I pray thee, let me in.
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DROMIO OF EPHESUS
I’ve had enough of this “off with you!” Come on, let me in!
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DROMIO OF SYRACUSE
(within) Ay, when fowls have no feathers and fish have
no fin.
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DROMIO OF SYRACUSE
(from offstage) Of course—when birds have no feathers and fish have no fins.
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ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS
Well, I’ll break in. Go, borrow me a crow.
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ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS
Well, I’m going to break in. Go get me a crow.
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DROMIO OF EPHESUS
A crow without feather? Master, mean you so?
For a fish without a fin, there’s a fowl without a feather.—
(to DROMIO OF SYRACUSE) If a crow help us in, sirrah, we’ll pluck a crow together.
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DROMIO OF EPHESUS
A crow without feathers? Master, do you really mean that? He said “when fish have no fins,” and you came back with a bird with no feathers. (to DROMIO OF SYRACUSE) If a crow gets us in, sirrah, then you and I will have a crow to pluck together.
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ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS
Go, get thee gone. Fetch me an iron crow.
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ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS
I meant a crowbar. Get going already.
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BALTHASAR
Have patience, sir. O, let it not be so.
Herein you war against your reputation,
And draw within the compass of suspect
Th' unviolated honor of your wife.
Once this: your long experience of her wisdom,
Her sober virtue, years, and modesty
Plead on her part some cause to you unknown.
And doubt not, sir, but she will well excuse
Why at this time the doors are made against you.
Be ruled by me; depart in patience,
And let us to the Tiger all to dinner,
And about evening come yourself alone
To know the reason of this strange restraint.
If by strong hand you offer to break in
Now in the stirring passage of the day,
A vulgar comment will be made of it;
And that supposèd by the common rout
Against your yet ungallèd estimation
That may with foul intrusion enter in
And dwell upon your grave when you are dead;
For slander lives upon succession,
Forever housèd where it gets possession.
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BALTHASAR
Be patient, sir! Don’t do this! This will hurt your reputation and make your wife, who’s innocent, look suspicious. Look, you’ve known her a long time. She’s wise, serious, mature, and modest. All this suggests that she has a good reason for doing this to you. Let’s assume that she has a reason, which you don’t know yet: have faith that she’ll eventually explain why she shut the doors on you today. Listen to me. Be patient and leave, and we’ll all go to the Tiger for lunch. In the evening, come back alone and figure out this strange resistance. If you get violent and break in now, in broad daylight, people will talk about it. The common mob will presume things, and your untarnished reputation will be damaged—and that damage will last long after you’re dead. Slander passes from generation to generation, and once it sticks to a family, it’s there forever.
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